The Amazing World of Gumball: Fan Fiction Reviews
by FFCriticReviewer
Summary: The title says all, but it's the stories that have been chosen for reviews that Let the mind of a critic speak what story you should read and the others that should rot and be. Today's Author(s):
1. Agent BM

**Story: **

_**Tawog American music special**_ by _Agent BM_

_Star Rating: 0 out of 4 stars_

_Review:_ We are given, yet again, another story from fan fiction "fan" Agent BM. This story is as bad as anything else he has written. I'm a fair man, but this streak keeps going on and on. What's bad about this story? Let me tell you:

This story goes in (out of nowhere and unexplained) an annual music festival where the first song is a corny kids song when they have no talent and just want to do a sing-a-long. Where are also introduced a recurring original character named "lex" and has happened to be misspelled (no surprise there).

Later, we are given a visit that surprises us that the singer was the author. (He gives us no explanation where and how he gets there.) He refers to himself as _Mr. _Agent BM, which makes me laugh. He sings, again, and they are impressed.

How does that look like? Not once have I mention in this review that it was a song-fic, since I didn't need this as a reason on why it's bad.

The "so-called _writer_" writes horribly, no act of story telling, brings a useless OC, and accomplishes nothing. This is a spat to music and it gives readers the finger.

_Summary_: When people witness trolls saying one's story is bad, out of spite, and say it's bad. But when they say stories like _this_ is bad, you will look like an idiot if you disagree. Agent BM makes himself look like a man with talent, but he is a half-wit writer who owns no talent and should hide in shame. I want him to go to school and get straight A's in English (or put some damn periods with good grammar and plot structure).

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**I review a story every day, whether it's new or old, I bring criticism to stories that should be praised or bury the ones that should be dead.**

**~ I'm fan fiction critic/reviewer Henry Peters. **


	2. Agent BM 2

**Story:**

**Home makeover by Agent BM**

_Stars: _1 out of 4 stars.

_Review: _The reason I'm doing another Agent BM "story" isn't because of hatred or anything personal, but because he updated a new one (not using story since it's not deserving caring called that). I thought he had seen my review and decided to improve his writing skills and plot. He didn't though. It's something worse, but shows mercy so I'll do it quick so it won't suffer. (I am being very generous enough to pick his story to review, but I don't understand why there isn't much improvement.) Let's begin:

The story begins with the family watching a movie, while Nicole receives a card for a $10,000 worth of a makeover. It goes on by our OC being a part of the family and wanting to tag along, but ends with them eating candy.

I guess I should begin with, again, about the grammar mistakes. Bad. The plot seems like someone was hungry and had nothing better to do but come up with a 60s sitcom episode when they were high.

I saw that he did do something that may haven't been done in the archive, but you better believe there was a good reason why it wasn't written.

The OC is created by a user named lexboss (who PM me, along with another user. Since I wasabi able to read the messages I just looked at their profile and stuff. I saw her creation of the OC) and, I'll admit, the OC is a natural boomer. It means that it's one of those OC's that have potential, but are wasted doing stories that have no meaning. Till the OC comes in a good story, she remains dull and unimportant, thinking she could ever be a part of the family.

_Summary_: Compiling the mix and match of reactions that seem to be stale and not exactly the creativity I expect. The characters seem to be slow and not at all that winning these cards have been played as a cliche for scams. Agent BM offers you a peanut, when you wanted an apple. Aw, nuts! Not again.

~ The difference between a troll and a critic is this: Trolls say mean things without having any knowledge on what to judge. Critics back themselves up with facts about what they criticize of what seems to be bad or good. Henry Peters. Think of bad reviews as a helpful instruction manual on what to improve, after all: "If you recieve a negative review, take it as a sign to improve."

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_**I would like to take this time to say that they're going to be bad reviews on bad stories, but my boss says I should stay and write reviews. But, I would have to say that if people say I shouldn't be here, then that would make my boss mad. I want you readers to say whether or not I should stay. Now, if I do, my boss would say: "Well, then we will both leave then. They aren't deserving of these critical reviews and shouldn't get any more." If that happens, you would be making the biggest mistake of your lives. **_

**~ I'm fan fiction critic/reviewer Henry Peters**


	3. Sayanora Suckers!

**_I just want to say that you all have convinced me to leave. I also have to say that I can't answer PMs since I barely joined. But I see this as more of a way to say you screwed yourself. My boss is none other than _****EvelioandZgroup****_. I did say of I leave, my boss would leave too. He is now gone, forever. I was his beta reader back then. Now he excels in writing stories. He told me to try out this site. The first time wasn't good. I called him up and asked what should I do. He told me to try again, and if they still are against it, then the two of us will leave the site and not come back. Now, here we are, the second time proved a success for a departure. I just want to say that it's nobody's fault but you guys. I hope you all are happy. Goodbye, from the two of us!_**

**_~ Henry Peters. _**


	4. Just Kidding

**_I guess I should say I was laughing my *** off when most of your responses came. Now, what I'm guessing, you probably want me to say that my boss _****isn't****_ EvelioandZgroup, and that he isn't leaving. NOPE! What I'm actually here to say is that I'm _****staying****_._****_ Why? Because Evelio told me to. He told me that there were people who were upset about the departure and, this is what he did to me, he high fived me for a complete success! We knew that a random critic with some words to say wouldn't get any views. He came up with a plan for me to write two reviews, posting facts, hidden texts of insults, while having a background of realism. We succeed our goal when so many were mad. We also came up with a plan to strengthed and prove the power of the TAWOG community. We did this to prove power and success (and he did this when he wondered why people don't review stories as they do). These reviews were not of spite, but were rather an experiment. Hey, he's the master of this._**

**_~ Henry Peters_**


	5. Globaluna32

**Story:**

_**Amazing World of Gumball Creepypasta, The Grieving**_** by ****_Globaluna32_**

_Star Rating: _4 out of 4 stars.

_Review: _A world that has yet to be involved, but a true fan fiction putting herself into the world of Gumball (this time, not in an _amazingly_ happy way). The writer has written a natural story that grabs onto your soul, and just because you were able to come out alive, its presence will be with you, forever. Globaluna32 has written a story that is as true as fear, murder, and the most scariest monster of our souls (within us). She writes in a calm pace, but doesn't fool you that this isn't a jolly time. Let's begin:

She puts herself as a common fan of the network, but not of the show. Her younger sibling loves the show. She witnesses an airing of a new episode late at night. Being the dominant older sister, who we all know loves to tease the younger ones, decides to watch the new episode and spoil it for her brother. It doesn't go as a normal episode, when the episode begins to be more than meets the eye. She continues watching this episode, but doesn't end well. At first it's depressing, until its twist of an episode takes you far beyond a horror story. It ends with it all hoping to be a dream, but with an unexpected twist and no way to prove it's existence. She twitters the creator and is aware of it, but never created the horrifying images that was shown in the episode. We are left to let this pass, since we can't prove anything.

What I love about this story is that it has all the elements of a good creepypasta: suspense, brutality, murder, no way to prove it existed, one hope/evidence of its existence, but not enough to hold it up, and a story that keeps you up for the dawn of time until you slowly forget, but it will come back. You can't escape _The Grieving. _The ending leaves you questioning, hoping for an answer. It's never what we all want, but we know its dark truth.

Constructive criticism? Keep writing these brilliant horror stories that keep you to the edge of your seat and never lets you go. She is, by far, the best female writer in all of the archive.

_Summary_: You can't always find a good creepypasta. But, with the mind of Globaluna32, she delivers the original fear that shocked the world of its power for fear and thirst for young readers to keep on their nightlights. This is, by far, the best horror story on the archive. Evelio's _I Killed Penny Fitzgerald _can't keep up this fright fest. Strongly ignored for the TAWOG Awards for Best Story, but this will last longer than any horror story created on this archive.

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**_I didn't see any good stories to review, so I went up with Evelio's recommendation for this story. I believe this story is by far, the most twisted, simple, and frightening story to have exist. For all who have read this, good for you. But, for those who didn't, you must read this thrill ride, before you even want to consider a part of this archive. This is why we always read the classics: we can't beat them._**

**_~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters_**


	6. Silver Friction

**Story:**

_**Gumball's feelings for Carrie **_**by**_** SilverFriction**_

_Star Rating: _1 out of 4 stars

_Review: _A new story has come from a newcomer. Now, we all have to admit to ourselves (except when you know what you were doing and had experience) that we all made a bad first story. We went on and on, with our list from _The Amazing World of Gumball _archive to everyone that has every existed. This is no exception, but the writer had some idea to get readers attracted. An idea that has been cliched so many times it doesn't matter anymore since all they want to read is their favorite shipping happen. Let's begin:

The story begins (as the first sentence determines how your story determines) with the sun shine on - happily! - that it awakes our two, now teenage, characters, Gumball and Darwin. They arise to reveal their relationship with the dream of their _true love_. We head to school and encounter Carrie, who is friends with them, and the story goes on with their normal, until the big happening.

Let's start with what's wrong, and then what to improve. What's wrong is that the writer does both know and not know when to capitalize their names. Some of the paragraphs run off instead of being a single one, while others continue to run when there were no sign of a period, but a comma, instead. The plot has been done before and has no surprises, whatsoever. Since it _is_ a first story, you know how I got to spare some mercy, right?

What to improve is simple: For one of the most obvious is the grammar in the story. Make sure you know how to use commas and when to put periods. The plot needs to shift itself from being a predictable romance and it bend the minds of the readers to have the suspenseful tone of will they be together. It should also avoid using cliches when making a romance story since it would just make readers roll their eyes to wonder where they've heard this from. It's not original. I advise to shift its normal plot and have it use some dramatic and thrilling elements since it _is_ a story about new love, so add tension (but not predictable ones like Penny wanting him back and will do anything to have. It's already been done). Try to examine your mystery suit better since the story might add itself to a way to attract others from being that one-story-that-everyone-knows-what's-going-to-happ en to an unpredictable love story that continues to rise your blood pressure. The writer should add detail and emotion to the characters to keep them in our hands, and not making us want to throw it away, thinking it's just trash.

_Summary: _The show's creator had Gumball and Penny in mind for being together. But so many people wanted Gumball and Carrie to be together. Does this story succeeded in what others failed to do? No. It's just a happy happening with predictable plots and characters that seem to be empty or not relevant to the plot. We see it, but can we _feel_ it?

_**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**_


	7. lexboss

**Story: **

_**The Love**_** by ****_lexboss_**

_Star Rating: _2.5 out of 4 stars.

_Review: _I'm gonna be honest. I only looked at this story because it had Evelio's name on it. He decided to beta story of Romance. Now, knowing Evelio, I think he had a good reason for doing a love story. He does romances, but not too often. This was something else: An _incest_ story. I'm not sure if people here accept these characters being together because they're not real, but damn well they're gonna be beating the heck out real incest couples (even the gay ones). Let's begin:

We start off with some soft emotions here, isolation and abandonment (that are portrayed in this). Nicole notices Gumball being depressed and not being around his siblings. He reveals that Penny told him that she doesn't _love _(see what I did there?) him anymore. (I don't know if the writer decided to put them as a couple, but it's believable. So I give it pass.) Nicole comforts him, as a mother should. After doing so, Gumball wants to play with _her_. She does so and thus begins a sort of platonic relationship, but soon drifts to the incest. The story doesn't just make itself a love story, but a disturbing mystery and erotic lemon.

What I did like about this story was it was able to pull off dramatic and its usual tendency of just being for sex. It also had Evelio to improve so grammar errors, but it was earlier so I give it a pass for the other missed errors. It fights off its usual odds and continues to keep running than stopping.

What I didn't like about this story is the fact of all this sudden character change and plot holes. In my opinion, Gumball is a horny teenager with bipolar disorder. Nicole is someone who cares, but isn't being pleasured enough in bed.

The stuff I can't pin on is the fact that this is mixed. It's so good that it's bad, or it's so bad that it's good. You have a good romance story, but a family that goes too far in the "_love_ thy family" part. It's kind of like being slapped across the face but enjoying it.

I can't say it's bad or good because it would be prejudice with incest, so I would advice others to read this to either have their own opinions. This is mostly likely the most controversial love story of the year.

_Summary: _When you lose your girlfriend, head for your mother, but beware of the consequences. In the mind of lexboss, she brings to life a couple that has everyone talking about whether it should exist or not, but the eyes of EvelioandZgroup, he caught a story that will sure get you and not make you stop till it's over: good _or_ bad.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	8. EvelioandZgroup

**Story:**

**_I Killed Penny Fitzgerald _****by ****_EvelioandZgroup_**

_Star Rating: _2.5 out of 4 stars

_Review: _Yes, I did this review because I saw that Antr reviewed this story (or Vex if you follow the character foreplay). This is one of the only stories I never beta-ed. And I'm not ashamed of it. Sure, I may have no involvement in this, but I feel the story is not as twisted as Evelio had in mind. I say it as if it wasn't always just this vision of a psycho kid with some hidden intention. I know for a fact that this story will be read a lot. It's like snacks; we love them, but are they really _good_ for us? Let's begin:

We have Penny left behind in the house of her parents when they left for something, and could trust her with the house. They could trust her, but not the murderer.

Things heat up immediately when Penny is murdered gruesomely (and should have said that they're was noise complaints, just putting that mistake out there, since I believe this may have been the reason for Gumball being discovered by the police) and is found by the police (...**** I just spoiled it). They found the body and arrest him for the murder of Penny Fitzgerald. We are run off by the police to what Evelio had in mind (I read the interviews) for a psychological courtroom drama turned to _The Silence of the Lambs _kind of mystery-drama. And the ending is to die for.

What I can say that I didn't like? Grammar is an absolute one, but the fact that he left too many plot holes around the story and didn't do much to explain it. I could understand it, but I felt that he put the character in context that he was a crazy nut when he was suppose to be this kid who has this mind of a mastermind. He gave him the brain, but I hope he makes a remake (_I really want the 90K!_).

What I did like about it is the fact he gave us a character that is more deviant, scary, suspenseful, mysterious, and even more. He gave us Gumball in a form he hasn't been in so high on horror since _It's the thought that Counts_ and delivers drama and so much elements. I can't give Evelio hate for creating this, but I can for not converting his draft to a newer _Gumball _version. I want it already here! Hopefully, he will do that soon.

_Summary: _Evelio's most popular story, but not the very best. He will keep thrilled by the blood, but will leave confused so far that you can't understand what's going on. But he keeps the pressure high on suspense! This is by far the best crime/mystery story he has written. When he fixes it up, it may be the best one of all time. That's a promise I want to see happen.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	9. EvelioandZgroup 2

**Story:**

**_Gumball Season 1 Episode 1 The Girl _****by****_ EvelioandZgroup_**

_Star Rating: _3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review:_ It seems like Evelio can tackle any genre. With horror he went with _The First Blood_; with romance _The Circle_; mystery in _I Killed Penny Fitzgerald_; science fiction with _In Time, We'll Lose Him_; superhero _Black Cat_; and even holidays with _Maybe this Christmas_. But now he has a comedy series that is crazy good. I'll say it, not because he's my boss, but it's funny. It's a comedy about nothing, focusing on topics in school with funny characters, random, and you can't get enough. This is one of the best stories released in a long time. Let's begin:

We have Gumball wanting a change from his original personality to try something new. He decides to become the opposite of who he is. Along with that, Rachel is now in the picture when demoted and back in middle school for the party and failing. Gumball even stops loving what the creator planned for them as true love. He decides to date Carrie, someone he barely had any contact with, in front of Penny. This pulls out random and comedic gestures too good to pass out.

I can barely find grammar errors and he has improved better. He created a wacky story line that has redeem the genre of slapstick on what stories have failed to do so in the entire archive alone. He has reinvented humor and recycled some elements to keep us entertained. I honestly can't hate this story. It's a phenomenon of Gumball. It's a show about nothing and it pulls off Gumball in a performance like never before. You can't call yourself a true fan of his without reading this story.

_Summary_: I know why Evelio is one of the best of the archives; he nails the scale on any given genre. This story succeeds slapstick and comedy to a level Gumball has never been able to pull it off. I praise the cast and its storyline for connecting to topics and can't be ignored.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters. **


	10. InvaderZIM

**Story:**

_**A Body for Carrie by InvaderZIM**_

_Star Rating: _3 out of 4 stars.

_Review: _I can't honest;y say I want to say it was good. It was over exaggerated, but had an idea that was a was probably done before, and has no point of being here. But, I have to say, this isn't a romance; it's a dark comedy! Let's begin:

We have a story that gives info that we already knew on Carrie. We are brought in on a normal day and hopefully she can get over her feelings of a body to just getting one. Things don't turn out the way we hoped for her.

I have to say the idea was redundant, self-centered, obnoxious, and dumb: And it worked! This story has SLAPSTICK in the mind of having what we thought we want, and have bad things happen to us. The idea worked and had a center of exploring, but romance wasn't in the cards. The grammar is actually decent, but it was OVER-exaggerated! (Like that) and I feel that it really got nowhere but distraction and this weird hype of chance.

I did like the fact it was able to pull off laughs for me and continue a story that was just a girl who is being slapped across the face since she thought it wouldn't hurt. We have Carrie in a hilarious role that is too good to be true. I have to say that I like this story when it was just bad, but it was good. If I had to pick if it was good, I _would_ say it. What I don't have an answer for it is whether or not I want it continued. It seems to have this weird aftertaste as if it were bad.

_Summary_: You want to give Carrie a body, then get ready for the results of a bad life. We have ourselves a story that kicked us, but made us watch it on TV and laugh at our pain. In a way, the author has put Carrie as a symbol of us. We have to be careful for what we wish for, we just might get it.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	11. Antr

**Story:**

_**Return to the 52 Dimension by Antr**_

_Star Rating: _3.5 out of 4 stars.

_Review: _I'll be a damn idiot if I don't recommend you this story: A Sci-fi thriller/mystery that bends the boundaries of family and friends. This story didn't have many reviews back there, while stories here that are a bunch of used up ideas that are predictable, give us justice for an Award nominated story (including Best Story). Let's begin:

We are given an off task with codes names (so you might get lost, but hopefully you will keep up) gives us the idea of alienation in the future and the ways of a dictatorship that has overrun us, as if we are the insects. This story gives hope to future characters as they set out to stop it. It's a battle from within and to the_ Big Man_ and almost no story can give you a science-fiction story like this!

There are some plot holes from it, but don't all first stories do?

I can give you reason as to why this was good. This story gave the characters in a true sci-fi settings with others stories trying to be like it, but, thankfully, have failed at it. This gives us a cast that deserves many character nominations and are proven to be strong and forceful. These characters bring the story to its true form of being a non-stop thrilling experience when you can't stop but watch them fight for their lives. This story will give you a good reason to deliver us a sequel.

_Summary_: Antr's first story proves to be one of the best stories of the year. He can give you the real characters of science-fiction instead of cheap knock off parodies that others do. He hits you with the knife, and it will leave a mark.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	12. Urimizo

**Story:**

**_Love Makes Fools of us All_ ****by _Urimizo_**

_Star Rating: _4 out of 4 stars

_Review: _This may be one of the most underrated stories of all time (including _Gumball_, I thought it was be popular). This story is something special within us all. The author stepped out of gruesome murder stories into something I didn't think he would have. This is a romance story with some laughs and a heartwarming couple that is highly ignored. Let's begin:

Jamie is saving up money to buy a present for a special someone. We are shown Jamie willing to do an act of kindness for a friend, Anton, and is sure won't let anyone get in her way.

I believe this story is a true romance within real life that demonstrated that maybe we don't really think we love someone in the way we think, but we have a special place in our heart for that one person. That's what I call the truest form of love. Jamie is introduced into a love a story that keeps brining her down but shows that we all have a fighting chance to prove who we really love.

I can't say anything wrong. It's funny, heartwarming, truthful, realistic, caring, loving, it's a masterpiece. This story everyone should read for a real romance story that doesn't involve cheap kisses and lame sex scenes. This is how it's done.

_Summary_: Urimizo may have given us gruesome stories that may be permissible, but here, he demonstrates a story that is hard to miss. In a love story that brings her down, Jamie is given a role she can fight for one person and show that is love: real love. Praise for both the writer and Jamie for giving heartwarming and convincing roles and will live on in my heart as the best romance of the year.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	13. 1K VIEWS!

**_Hello, my name is Henry Peters and I haven't been here in a week. One week yet. I have some news. I have past 1,000 views in less than a week. I don't think people don't do that everyday. I'm here to say that I want to thank those who have been reading my reviews and are still there (in less than a week). This is the first of a 1,000 views. I'm gonna keep this up for as long as I can. If I can do it, you can do it as well. _**

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	14. Bda241

**Story:**

**_Misunderstood _****by****_ Bda241_**

_Star Rating:_2 out of 4 stars

_Review_: The award winning story may be a favorite to audiences around and has a good reason to. Acclaimed with its plot and characters. It was established as an instant classic. But this _is_ a first story. There are bound to be errors. Let's begin:

In the teenage years of Gumball Watterson, he has it all: the love of his love, friends, family, the good life. But someone didn't like it too well. They hatch a plan to rid him out of town, for good. When he is accused of vandilizing the school, he is taken away and nearly no one believes. Not his girlfriend, not his mother, nearly all of his friends think he is public enemy number one. He is soon taken away, but manages to get away. A runaway fugitive, aided by the advice of a former convict, now hides in the nearby town with a family to take him, with an alias.

The story has an interesting plot with mesmerizing characters that can grip you with emotion and has a good background story and makes you feel emotion. This story is lovable and scores big with others.

I'm not complaing about the grammar, but the story seems too short an doesn't give us enough time to match wits and to understand this better. We also have a plot hole with a nearby town that no one bothers to check. Along with the old cliche of parents not believing the children. We also have hate towards the other characters but doesn't give much satisfaction to other characters.

_Summary_: Bda241 has a story that can't be ignored, but it's not perfect. We have characters that live to its potential but can't seem to add up other thoughts and plot holes. You will get enjoyment, until you really start to think about this story.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	15. jevaf5

**Story:**

**_The Spectacular Valley N Roger : The Lemons_**** by ****_jevaf5_**

_Star Review: _1.5 out of 4 stars

_Review:_The more I read from this archive, the more I feel the idea of the amazing world of Gumball just doesn't seem to fit each of the world's character. The more you read stories with OC, the more you feel separated from the show and feel it show just be its own thing. Let's begin:

The story focuses on a crime/comedy grip on these two OCs (Valley and Roger) working with each other when they were both engineered in a laboratory, which they help fight crime and do the best they can to save the town. Their case has itself focusing on junk, especially with these lemons.

I can say the idea of the show, doesn't exactly surprise me, but slightly amuses me that it's able to pull off its own thing.

I have to start with grammar. It does has its moments with it, but it definitely miss places a lot of periods and commas, along with plot techniques and its idea of a buddy cop thing. The jokes are overused and doesn't seem to connect as well as it should. The jokes are those jokes that aren't funny, even though you get it. You can't find any humor in this. The plot seems to get itself off from time to time with its transitions.

I think the writer should consider getting new material, instead of picking up jokes that could easily show that the author might not have any ideas for humor. I also believe the writer should try to pick up a new plot and work hard on thinking it very much through, if not, the show may remain predictable and not humorous.

Summary: We have two OCs that work together, but their story doesn't. The series first episode falls flat on jokes and suspense, along with it repeating the same method of inconsistency. I do understand the idea of the show, but if readers want something new, they will sadly be disappointed for laughs.

**_It has officially been one week and I have over 40 reviews! This is something I want to keep on going, and thank you to those who didn't hate me for me giving their story a bad review. While others seem to have taken it the wrong way, they surely broke the rule of FanFiction: To take bad reviews as improvements and notes._**

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	16. Bda241 2

**Story:**

**_Family Issues_**** by ****_Bda241_**

_Star Rating_: 3 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Sequels are normally not good. Some people don't know how to explain why. My theory is because we had so much high hopes for it to be both something new and using the same method. They seem to fail by changing the entire reason why they liked it or feel that it was just the same thing, or it was completely different. This right here, does justice in a good way. Let's begin:

We have Gumball, one year after the events of Misunderstood, and now is a good friend of the Alditure family. Today is Cris's birthday and Gumball goes out to get the things he needs for the party. Now, fate gives him a twist of fate when long time bully, Jamie is now living here, and knows where he is. Things turn itself both to sweet and bitter for both of them as they seem to all have a connection with him, along with an OC, Marcus, a friend of the eldest brother of the Alditure, who had past away. Gumball is left with a spiraling taste of family, drama, romance, betrayal, truth, and what it all means to show who are the ones you love and why.

Meanwhile, back at Elmore, things aren't looking too good. Tobias is out when his parents bail him out. He is now shadowed with guilt and is now a "lost cause." Penny is still not forgiven from Anais and Darwin, after they were the only ones who knew Gumball was innocent, and she didn't believe it. What ticks them off more, Anais and Darwin are now rebelling against their mom, Nicole, when she couldn't get herself to believe her own son was innocent. They need a brother, but how will it bring them closure, when just one person can make a difference?

Let's start with the bad things first. Some of the grammar is off, especially with the writer using Gumball grammar as if he was God. The ending felt it was left off too easy for them.

Now, for the good things. Bda241 gave the readers a sequel that was better than the original and is unforgettable. He grabs you with his characters, drives you through nearly all of those Gumball has effected perspective's (hey, that rhymes!) and makes you feel depth and emotion towards all of these characters. He shows you how to know who your true family are when you feel like the ones have been there, and the ones who take you in. He gives you a stupendous cast of characters, not giving one one second of boredom. He gives love, fun, family, truth, redemption, forgiveness, closure, and his message to all of us, those who are the ones you love are the ones who you love you, no matter what. You can't hate without without love.

_Summary_: As time goes by, we don't see a breakthrough in stories. This is a BIG exception. Bda241 prevails with an excellent cast, original storytelling (in the combination used, though) and succeeds to capture our hearts in a way that we haven't felt Gumball in the entire of his creation. We see triumph and such depth in its message, but this is a sequel that doesn't fear to change and keep its original story-line. This is a mesmerizing story.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	17. fantom fiction

**Story:**

**_Love is paper thin_**** by ****_fantom fiction_**

_Star Rating: _0.5 out of 4 stars

_Review: _A lot of people don't like this pair: Gumball and Teri (not _Terri_). There has only been one story that this pair worked well in and actually got people to notice more about them. That story was _Maybe this Christmas _by _EvelioandZgroup _(that story I will leave my review soon). But so many fans of this pairing have failed to prove any real connection with the characters and its plots to make it interesting. So far, it's just for those fans who love that pairing, but won't convince others to like it. Let's begin:

We are dropped off with Gumball with an accident, leading him to the nurse's office, where Teri is there to help him up, and tension starts to build up.

(This story is a one-shot. That's pretty how you can sum it up.) Let's start with all of what I didn't like. The story has noticeable inaccuracies. They even have an age difference, which doesn't make sense unless you have a reason to do it. This didn't. The story just puts it up like they were good friends and that they liked each other before. In the show, they show barely any connection to each other. Even some with dislike.

I can also point out that the story barely makes a dent at what it's trying to accomplish here, as it turns out it was a challenge by another user to do this story.

The story is just one scene and it already has them making goo goo eyes at each other.

I didn't like anything about this story. What keeps me from the zero star is that it shows that it still has some act of story telling and _some _decent grammar.

I would like to advice to create an interesting and convincing story-line with these two instead of stories that makes us think that this isn't right and they're glad that's not in the show. I would also note on to extend the story and make it more comfortable to readers of this pairing.

_Summary: _The titles says what it's all about: thin and can rip easily. Gumball and Teri are shown to be like good pals from out of nowhere and nowhere to go. If you're a fan of this pairing, you'll get nothing but a short blush and not the kind of thrill you'll get from this pairing.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	18. EvelioandZgroup 3

**Story:**

_**Maybe this Christmas **_**by**_** EvelioandZgroup**_

_Star Rating: _3 out of 4 stars

_Review: _I feel that nearly all holiday stories have lost their meaning (including the big three: Valentine's Day, Halloween, and Christmas). There are a couple of holiday stories here on this site, but most don't really make a dent in what made this holiday special. Now, this story - this _miracle _has shown more love and care than any holiday story that has been posted on. Let's begin:

We start off four days before Christmas day, and we are told Gumball has just come back from a party at school. The only problem is he came too early, left with no one there in the house. He doesn't mind, until he is delivered a letter that reveals he won't live a long, happy life. Now, he gets drunk and decides to leave. He is now on a journey to find what it is to have a happy holiday and what does it take to be happy. He encounters the ups and down of love, while not really having much interest, and learns that the last few hours of your life should be the most happiest time of your life.

I'll start with what's not right. The paragraphs seem to be _just_ paragraphs, instead of being why it was called that. Grammar is a bit off, yes, I will say that.

Now, for the good stuff. I have to say I love the ending. It was strong and powerful, with many symbols in it. This straight forwards a Gumball following the events of _Holden Caulfield. _We also face many characters who fall heart struck and convincing love scenes (including ones that are either ignored, or not nearly possible to work: Gumball and Teri and Gumball and Leslie). We even note that this is a song fic, but this is something what stories based off songs haven't done in this archive in a long time: An actual story with the feel of the song in you, whether you heard it or not.

I would say to improvement on the grammar, but surely nothing else.

_Summary_: Most holidays haven't worked out, but Evelio doesn't just give you a good holiday story, he gives you the best Christmas story in this archive, ever. Evelio gives more justice with many pairings than the usual pairing stories. He brings angst in this Catcher in the Rye tale with our protagonist, in an ending that can't be out done. Superfluous! This gives more than you can ask for a good Gumball Christmas.

**~ I'm Fan fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	19. Agent BM 3

**Story:**

**_Mgt3k season 3 ep 3 Captain Gumball and the Quest _****by ****_Agent BM_**

_Star Rating: _0.5 out of 4 stars

_Review: _I know what you're thinking: I'm doing an Agent BM story because I want to rip on him for fun. If you think that's all what I'm about, then I have no respect for you. In fact, he asked _me_ to do this story to help him out. I have to say this: I don't like reviewing his stories for two reasons. 1) I will always be told that I'm a bad person and I'm nothing but a troll. 2) I believe nearly everything he has written for this archive is bad. I'm fair, but people keep telling me to lay off people of it's their first time. But if they show no sign of improvement through five stories already, then I can say anything to them because they just slacked off. He wants me to see what I can do to figure out why some of his views on his story series has shown decline. Let's begin:

We have two OCs from jevaf5's series of the title characters of the same name. They are being chased by someone named Gizmonic and the Wattersons must save them and Gumball proves to be their last chance.

I really like nothing from this story. What keeps me from zero is the effort that is still going.

The bad stuff is the series seems to put itself in either high or low science-fiction areas where Gumball proves to be the hero. It's a fail since it doesn't provide enough background and detail for both character and landscape. The plots seem to be the same thing over and over again. But, this is from people who don't like the series. Now, the ones that are fans have a reason to drift as well. I believe they saw the story predictable and found it not worth their time to read. They don't find anything new in the story. I feel they saw him just putting again OCs and just get a bad guy and Gumball to save the day. The plot appears to fail at suspense and refers to the characters as if they didn't exist before.

I have to say for improvement, there's a lot. one thing for sure is grammar, but it's not the case why it's falling now. The main reason for its decline is because it is just repeating the same method without real thrill of its genre and taste. I want him to come up with some creative ideas and improvement with descriptive details of their surroundings and characters. If he does not improve these tactics, I'm afraid the show won't even be remembered.

_Summary_: If you're a fan of this series, you might be getting tired of the same old thing and won't see any new plots than just the recycled ideas that have lost their meanings. Agent BM gives characters that just seem to be flat out boring and not much justice to any of its messages. You will be able to see what happens before the writer can think of it.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	20. EvelioandZgroup 4 (SA!)

**_WARNING! SPOILER ALERT!_**

* * *

**_Here's how these spoiler alerts work in this series. I will only use these when I have been granted to read a story, before it's released and many other scenarios, but the point is simple: Only stories that haven't been posted up yet will become spoiler alerts. Got it?_**

* * *

**Story:**

**_Tobias/Carrie_**** by ****_EvelioandZgroup_**

_Star Rating: _3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review: _I'm not a person who reviews someone's story and thinks because of it being this author it might be just hype (Well, with the except one). I was asked by Evelio to proofread and review it. I told him that it would be giving away information of the story that is going to be released. He told me that it will get people to notice more and to just get more readers aware of it. Let's begin:

Gumball has been murdered while Carrie, the only person there to help, is now traumatized by the murderer who is now dead. Everyone feels sad over her, so much that she has been pardon by the President of the United States from trail.

Tobias is a web personality that has been able to swarm a mass amount of viewers from nearly 80 countries. But, seeing from the TV, he notices that Carrie is admitted traumatized. He doesn't buy it as he knows her well enough that she wouldn't be traumatized to be excused from trial.

Tobias then decides to seek out those who can help to bring fold five sessions of interviews each week till summer ends. Tobias doesn't really see the generation for girls as important, so he claims. Carrie isn't going down easy. This political thriller turns into a dark cat and mouse chase mystery that has now, from just one person, to the whole word wanting to know what really happened. If Tobias prevails, he will become one of the most well known web stars, but if he fails, he will have rise Carrie up so much that he will fall farther than he ever imagined.

I think the only thing that tempts me from that four star is that it's a political thriller and it doesn't go all to much into action (and it's novel length).

I love the fact that he grips you with this reading into a deeper part of your own soul and does more than frighten you, but makes you question everything, leaving you paranoid. He does a battle of wits and luck to get this rival that has gone on far too ignored. This gives both performances from Tobias and Carrie at a new time high, one that no writer here has been able to do.

This is by far one of the most interesting reads out of all stories to be released this year! I can't find any errors. He grabs you with this story, and will leave you to remember his name.

_Summary_: EvelioandZgroup does it again! He scores big with an excellent cast,. interesting plot-line and doesn't leave you without knowing the truth. Tobias and Carrie are given a role both are not familiar with, but are too well done to be ignored. He doesn't leave you gasping, he leaves you a question that will stun you for as long as you can still remember this.

_**I would like to say that I'm very thrilled to be writing this far. I am on Day#10 and I'm about to hit 2K views! Leave reviews if you think otherwise, or you agree on this or other stories I've reviewed. I review everyday for as long as I can!**_

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	21. Laengruk10001 (911 and 2KV)

**Story:**

_**Tears of a Watterson**_** by**_** Laengruk10001**_

_Star Rating: _3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review: _Today marks a special day in American history. 12 years ago we were attacked by terrorists. That's as far as I can go since they're many things associated with, but have drawn controversy since then. I feel that this day is not a holiday, but a day to remember those we lost. Today I thought it being my 10th day on this series, I thought, why not a 9/11 story. I looked up, but the most recent one I had stank so much it was just offensive, let alone barely any relevance to it. I looked deeper and found a story that is from an author who brings the big guns. Let's begin.

Frank Watterson (OC) is reminded of that faithful day when he met the love of his life. Faith brought them together, but did more than that when another day shocked the world.

I have to say the only thing I didn't like was its expansion on paragraphs since some could have been reduced while others could have been expanded.

What I love about this story is that it has an OC that matters! Frank drives us through a psychological journey of one of the victims who died into a better trance of deeper understanding of why some people were hurt more than others. We are driven to a state of realism and special ops that takes us further within our own power to symbolize what we all have in control isn't control by anyone. Our decisions will always come back to haunt us. He brings you love at ease, heart and emotion in war that isn't done better than this writer.

What I have to say to improve? I want the author to sit his story out there because this is definitely one of the most underrated stories of all time. He gives us action and drama, with the grip of us being there.

_Summary_: 9/11 is a tragedy, but our fan fiction author, Laengruk10001, brings you further than any writer alive here to show how others had died inside when that day happened. Brilliant! Superb! Frank is an OC that is mystical and is shown on a Dicken's landscape that can be brought further. One of the best stories of 2012. You can't say you understand 9/11 victims, until you're brought in further.

**_I just want to say I would like to dedicate this review to all those who were affected by the September 11 attacks. I wanted to pick a good story, and this is one that is far too ignored. If you really want to be taken in further into this event, read this story, for which it has realism and dramatic elements to bring us a closer understanding to this devastating event._**

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	22. MeeMeeCandy777

**Story:**

**_The Rich Girl takes it All_**** by ****_MeeMeeCandy777_**

_Star Rating: _0 out of 4 stars

_Review: _I don't care _how_ mean I sound in this review; this story is_ border-line stupid! _I know people say I shouldn't go to my mean ways at the first review. But, let's clarify, I wasn't mean. Neither will I be mean in this review. But this story, the author (the very one I was very disappointed to see write this), isn't even _near_ my line of decent. Let's begin:

We have this story begin with two OCs (Fireball and Aguilera) and Gumball. They find out that Masami's father has bought the school for her. (On the side note, she's pregnant) Now, the school is now under her control.

I **_HATE_** this story! Why? Let's start with all that's bad and doesn't click: Two OCs that come out of nowhere, with no idea how they look like; it's written in script form (1. not the right way and 2. it doesn't have any real reason to be there, unless the writer was too damn lazy to continue writing it like a normal story, or, at least, write the script format good); children having sex (using it as a humor note); slavery; and the entire damn plot.

Now then, you want me to explain why all these are bad and why I shouldn't look like a troll. Simple, really.

Let's go with the big one: Script format. It's not allowed, and the only exception for this, in my opinion, is if it's written in a good format that it should be in. It doesn't do so. Another one is the OCs - the two that don't make sense and have no real sense of being a character, let alone being real people. They are unrealistic and are people they criticize as bad people - should that even matter to people? No. No, but they are not even _real_ good ones. Are we suppose to think a young girl having sex with another young boy is a good thing, and should be looked up to? No. Should I express myself on how people have this right to write stories as they please, but some of them are really bad and show no sign of talent, and shouldn't be hated? Let's say this: If you make it work and convincing, it's good enough. If you can't, let that idea stay in your head and rot. We have a plot that's unrealistic. Just because you buy a school, doesn't mean you have the jurisdiction of being a _dick_-tator (I know I rarely use swear words, but this is an exception). Probably having the law on your side, but not _this_. What's definitely the worse thing was that it was written by MeeMeeCandy77, who wrote some decent ones that can't be all that bad, but screwed up with this.

What can I say to fix it? Bury this story to the ground, get a fresh idea, think of ways of making it not something that's near damn well impossible to happen. I know fiction is make-believe and won't happen, but this is make-believe and shouldn't happen, let alone be written.

_Summary: _You enjoyed this writer back with some stories, but here is the bomb! (And not in a good way.) The writer takes a turn into a stage of slavery and sex jokes into a bad dark romantic comedy that shows no tragedy, except for the respect of this writer. Any writer who enjoyed this writer enough, will be disappointed.

_**I know how a jerk I should like in this, but when you review a story that is total crap and spits in your face, you can't just sit there and let that happen. This is one of few reviews that get a zero, but this story deserves it, more than any writer (including **_**Agent BM_, who got one in the first review). I'm sorry, but this here makes me mad than anything here. _**

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	23. BenjaminDj by SPS

_**I have to say that I have really gain some really good amount of views and have still maintain my own reputation, and even taken seriously. But, I was requested by a user of being a critic on this show. Now, I didn't have any kind of opening for grabs, but he seemed nice enough. This isn't just about reviewing a story now. Today I want you readers to say in the reviews whether or not he has the critical eye and what you think. Opinions count, you know?**_

**Story: **

**_The Last Stand_**** of ****_Gumball _by****_BenjaminDJ_**

_Rating_: 3 out of 4 stars

_Review_: You know, I like stories that can be different. I mean, not a lot of them are, but this was one of those. Luckily, it was alright. Well, maybe a little more than alright. Let's dive into The Last Stand of Gumball.

The Last Stand of Gumball starts out with the Watterson children leaving for school on the school bus. The bus stopped suddenly, lacking in fuel. When Tina Rex and Miss Simian attempt to fix it, the bus explodes suddenly.

The story is decent. It manages to keep me slightly entertained. The only flaws are the grammatical errors. Call me a Grammar Nazi, but the few errors there are bug me for some peculiar reason. Ho hum.

_Summary_: If you want a short, okay to read, this is the one you should be searching for.  
**  
~Sir Psycho Sexie, FanFiction author/critic**


	24. The1stWumbologist

**Story:**

_**The Amzing World of Gumball: The Halloween party**_** by**_** The1stWumbologist **_

_Star Rating: _2 out of 4 stars

_Review: _First off, the title is misspelled. This isn't counted against the writer, but will definitely give a bad first impression. I'm doing because a request, so if anyone has any stories, I'll see if I want to read it since I don't have much time. But here, a story about a Halloween party...I think you already guessed where this is already headed. Let's begin:

A letter is sent across the entire town, invited to a Halloween party, outside of Elmore. They go, but what they're in for, is something more than just a party.

I enjoyed the effort put in it and how the writer doesn't have that much grammar discount (with the exception of the title).

I guess I would have to say what I didn't like, right? Well, it's boring. The plot is somewhat ripped off that Family Guy episode (but on the other hand, that episode was ripped off from so many sources. Until I clarify, it won't be counted as a rip off episode, but rather a used up cliche). The characters didn't seem to connect and there wasn't much anticipating, in my opinion. I would always have to say I didn't enjoy the ending. They are brought back destroys the horror logic, even with the potion (which is actually a plot hole within the series that has yet to be corrected). We have a plot that is very predictable until something that was taken out of nowhere crept up (I think that was another thing I liked, but not sure).

Now, I read the last chapter and asked if we wanted a sequel. Well,...I can't say I want a sequel. I think people who really want to know and demand it repeatedly, then maybe take a toss or two with the idea.

_Summary: _Like a haunted house story? Then, this is all we got for you. Horror readers won't find much fright here, but is a good amount of improvement for Gumball, but the ending will twist and turn you saying it's not possible. If you're easy to be scared, well, I guess this may be for you.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	25. NeoNimbus

**Story:**

**_The Vampire: Prologue-A New Home _and On_e Batty Student_**** by ****_NeoNimbus_**

_Star Rating: _2.5 out of 4 stars

_Review: _He's the fair man, and one of the very few to be highly supportive and generous, with high popularity in this archive. He has the most reviewed story on the archive (beating _I Killed Penny Fitzgerald_). He reviews stories that he believes to be reviewed, even if they're bad. He is committed with stories and does high work with them. But are his stories _really_ the good story for audience or for it being good for _critics? _Let's begin:

We have vampire Camilla Stoker and her family going to a new home. But, will the presence of their being interfere with the normal lives in Elmore?

I want to start with the bad stuff. I don't like the idea of the story. It gets under my skin as a good Stephine Meyer vampire story. I feel the story has this arc of being in a state of friendly while trying to be kind. I don't really buy it for the plot.

Now, for some good news. I enjoy the characters. Camilla Stoker is a shot break protagonist with enough detail and emotion to drive this girl to a new level. The characters understand the brand of humor while have its knack in the supernatural with characteristics that are realistic, if the world were filled with night walkers. I can feel the characters as real people.

_Summary: _You want an author who gives you OCs that can't be outdone? Here he is: NeoNimbus. The author tracks vampires and symbolizes them as outsiders, with us feeling the same way. The story gets tacky, but you can't stop without Camilla saying it's over, until it's done. She's in control, not you.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	26. Bryce Avila

**Story:**

**_A Miracle_ by _Bryce Avila_**

_Star Rating_: 3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I know Bryce Avila personally. When I review stories, I don't care who they were written by, they will be treated like any other story. I decided to review her story since it was about time to review another one of my friends. This story was _really_ something. Let's begin:

Gumball witnesses his mom and step-brother getting arrested for incest. Gumball has a power that allow him to space out and see his surroundings. At school, he seems to be gone until something is happening. A shooting by someone who didn't kill him. This thrives on.

I think the only thing I didn't like were some very minor errors and the fact that this story hasn't been continued.

I like the story with its intro foreshadowing certain predictions that can be interpertated in many ways. The story it self has grown into his calm drama that stirs up some serious, deadly, events that corner the story's ending to an unpredictable mystery of family and friends to showcase the supernatural like in _The Green Mile_ and has a speed like no other in this archive since _My New Family_.

Improvement? _Continue_ this story!

_Summary_: Bryce may have been seen a blind eye to stories, but this story shows those who question her reviews have a lot to learn. _A Miracle_ is strikingly pure steel with brilliant story telling and is the best female writer for the archive.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	27. GalaticDragonfly

**Story:**

**_My New Family_ by _GalaticDragonfly_**

_Star Rating_: 2.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I have to say it has been 14 days (2 weeks) and I'm about to 3K, so I thought I should a story that was very worthy to be reviewed. So I'm reviewing the first story to win _Best Story_ at the 1st TAWOG Awards: My New Family. Let's begin:

Gumball has been panned from any clubs at school. One person, Jamie, offers a club that is not like any other club, but rather a cause that has been ignored for far too long to form the perfect gang of misfits. They sabotage everything the school has planned, setting fire to a pool, even setting up an office with water. They even ruin Anais's radio broadcast (I think, it was like a novel) and don't just ruin the school, they make Gumball turn on his family, breaking their family bond, but creating a new one. A deadly one with drugs and danger with trust and betrayal.

I want to say that I like the story in general: a boy rebelling against the school with a gang of misfits that understand it, love rising, with what seems to be evil, but uses a symbol of what it means to stand against injustice and corruption. To stand for what we fight for: Freedom. I have to say that I'm very impressed with the impact with the pairing. It was just the trouble-maker and the bully's best friend to the opposites-attract pair. The story was the first novel length story on the archive, and remains as a strong classic. The story also allow it to be an emotional thrill ride with all the dark humor and sinister background.

I have to say that the story had plot holes like an ordinary fan fiction. We have bad parents with unbelievable and unrealistic tactics that sum up ideas that seem too out there (but, on the other hand, the very reason was because of the slapstick of the show, but I prefer that if it wanted to be serious then it would have to be realistic). The ending seemed like last minute and the epilogue to it seemed too sweet (no pun intended for the make out scene from eating cookies).

To improve is that the writer should go back and edit some of the grammar mistakes - you know, winning _Best Writer_ and all.

_Summary_: May not be the best novel, but definitely deserving for its establishment as a classic. GalaticDragonfly gives you an emotional roller foster of rebellion with love and dirty drugs with a side order of symbols. He won't offer the best, but one you will remember for a long time.

**_I just want to say I'm very faltered to be one of the fastest users to be known in the archive. But I think I should get myself a little out there as well. But should I do it? I want you readers to decide if I should write a _novel_ length fan fiction for the archive. Please say it in the reviews. Also, if you have something to say about my reviews, either if I'm right or wrong, please say it. After all, your opinion matters too._**

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	28. EvelioandZgroup 5 (3K VIEWS!)

**Story:**

**_Gumball Season 1 Episode 2: The Project _by_ EvelioandZgroup_**

_Star Rating_: 4 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I think it really hit me hard because this is something I didn't want to do unless it was the finale, not cancellation. Let's begin:

Gumball meets Jamie with a confrontation of hate. Now, Miss Simian decides to make her summer vacation easier (not even close to the date) by assigning a project that was suppose to be due to the end of the year to this weekend. The project is simple: pair with a partner as a married couple to have a better viewpoint of relationships. Gumball is now in the hands of a relationship nightmare with tension already built up. Sadly, it's to be continued.

I hate the fact it has barely any recognition. This story should be bigger than any series active. Better than my series, better than _Talking_, better than The Newcomer, better than any series here! Why? Here's why:

The series here has showcased the show better than itself. Gumball gives the perfect comedy performance with very witty and silly with very realistic characteristics that show life in the archive as real as one can get. We are given a good cast of characters with such high expectations with this cast and story.

You have these characters that are as real as friends you have with just few appearances and show the teen life in a deep level where no story can bring you life in both good and bad with these relationships that draw close with classroom experiences that can very well dwell with past lives and, possibly, the future.

He gives you a series that seems like a lazy idea but with brilliant chemistry that strikes through idea of teens or pre-teens to be both funny and witty.

There's no other story that has this close connection with any other story here.

_Summary_: The second episode is one that makes this series the best there is, the best there was, and the best they'll ever be. Evelio brings comedy to a level that beats the show's episodes with any joke there. You will be stunned by this is one of the most underrated works of all time. Along with being one of the best this year.

**_I asked Evelio why he stopped lithe series. He said that he didn't put them up, but Jamie puts them up with his permission. He said of he gets 10 reviews for each he would continue. I checked. And it hasn't. He said, therefore that the show would be cancelled. I told him to continue but he said _Continue? Why would I want to do that? I already finished all 26 episodes. **

**_I asked him if he would put them up. He laughed because he said that they were actually based off original characters that he created for a book. He said it was about these characters with topics that seem like he was Reuther bored or he took it too far. I think it's very good. He said it was a collection of recurring characters with many topics and release each like it was a season. I like it and I hope that he makes it published. What do you think?_**

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	29. schwarzekatze4 by SPS

_**Here's another review by Sir Psycho Sexie. Enjoy!**_

Story: Darwin's First by schwarzekatze4

Rating: 3.5 out of 4

Review: Et maintenant temps pour l'heure de jumelage obscure! Youpi! In all seriousness, I adore to find unusual pairings. I mean, it's great to do something different than the norm. Today our story is a very popular one, and also one of the first to appear on this website. It's titled Darwin's First.

Our story is about Darwin contemplating his "relationship" with Masami. When he learns that his relationship was only crafted out of jealousy, lies, and **, not to mention learning that his first kiss was non-existent After discovering this, his thoughts change direction after he receives his real first kiss. By whom? Read to find out. But why would you want to read this story? Well, let's head over to my opinion on the story to find out.

This story was pretty enjoyable. Everyone is kept in character, which I seldom see coming from stories from the archive. As I mentioned earlier, it has an inventive pairing, which I love to see. The only issue in this story has to be the grammatical errors. There aren't many, I mean, it took me a reread or two to notice them, but some of these flaws could have been solved with a simple spell check. Other than that, I really suggest you read it.

Summary: If you want a story that only used two thousand words to make history in the archive, this is the one for you.

~Sir Psycho Sexie, Fanfiction author/critic

Yesterday 7:11PM


	30. Danny-of-TAWOG

**Story:**

_**The new kid of Elmore **_**by**_** Danny-of-TAWOG**_

_Star Rating_: 0 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I think this story hits me in the face, very, very hard. Why? I think the most reasonable one is that it's bad. But the one (not even because it's bad) - that really gets me to burst through the thermometer - that is so infuriating because it's high reviewed and many called it good. I see fan fictions like _The Grand Life _and _Looking Into the Past_ be passed aside like it was another story. I'll tell you this, this story _really_ grinds my gears (and I am NOT in the mood for that Family Guy reference notice). This story is on a bad level of mediocre and supplies itself with fame (thank GOD it didn't get the nomination _Best OC _in the awards). I have few on my side, but I think it's time to say why it's bad. Let's begin:

The story begins with Carrie saying she hates new kids, and is soon ventured from an emotional state when this _white _guy comes in as the new student. He begins to become friends with everyone else, but slowly starts to grow on Carrie. But, something more is coming - just the way we want. Faith brings a wrathful of test to prove Danny worth to be friends with hate and hurt all in this one story to prove what really matters.

Sounds good? Sounds to me the story took elements of nearly every romantic comedy and put this in this emotionless joy-kill of a new kid with this already happening of a bad life with good friends. _Jolly, right? _the little voice in my head says. No! No, it's very predictable in a form of what can never happen in life, even in fiction. What doesn't make sense is that we must feel compassion with this character when we have no depth in this story and has no liability here. This is nothing more than a story that had no detail and had no act of story telling like in those summer campfire skills, but shoves it down our throat with an OC that doesn't make much sense to me. This OC has yet to establish itself as meaningful. I think this character is a bad example of someone, or some_thing_, that really matters to you when it dies.

The plot - oh my god! The plot is so cheesy that it has a bad aftertaste. I'm being serious right now, if you want to be a good writer, and, hopefully, a successful one, stay the hell away from this one. If you do, and absorb the style and idea, you will be exactly like Stephine Meyer and her vampires. Believe me, you don't want that.

Characters? Gumball is just the same, but with some slight character difference, and Carrie, oh god - Carrie is not even real in this fan fiction. She plays this lovable ghost that has heart, without any real meaning (and don't give me that love bull-crap, because that's what it is: bull-crap).

You want my advice on improvement? Kill this OC from its so-called happy life and _burn_ it. I even want this guy to correct on grammar, which isn't bad, but, hey, at least I didn't use it for an example on why it was - sorry, _was_, it still_ is _- bad.

I admire myself as Peter Travers, but I think I found my Michael Bay on fan fictions, because I want to say to this author's face _Your story suck! _and I want this fan fiction to go away!

Now, then, the _real _reason on why it deserves the zero rating. The reason why is because it is undeserving of its reviews, followers, favorites, views, and fans. I know what they would say: _But _we _like it, and we don't think it's bad_. _  
_

Talk to twilight fans, _they_ think _Twilight_ is good. So is it _good? NO! _

Now, let's talk about the good stuff here. They're few people who agree with me on this: _EvelioandZgroup_ and _Jamie Skyland_. There may be more, but I don't want to risk asking people to read this...hell. I may sound like an ***, but this story makes me very mad, like _Harry Potters_ fans with the _My Immortal_ story.

_Summary_: Danny-of-TAWOG...should have stayed away from me and his god-awful stories. I was recommended a story they said was heartwarming, but was tricked into a sack of ****! No story or any characters involved with this author is no good. This story is _The Room_. Believe me, that's an insult. This story will bring anger for any good writer here and should stay away from this story if you want to do good stories. After reading this, go read Agent BM's stories. They won't give much of an eyesore.

**_I'm sorry if I was mean in this review. I cooled off for a while and backed off this review. The thing is, I didn't edit it. I chose not to do it because I felt that this review needed to be out there. I mean, I bring bad stories with some constructive criticism but, I don't really think any help can be done. I truly believe this story doesn't deserve its popularity level, or even to be claimed "decent." Sorry if I offend anyone in this review. Maybe I should put this at the beginning...nah! I always put them down, unless they're spoiler alerts. I think this is something I did that shouldn't be cut out. But, let it go down as my longest review for a story. Ever!_**

**Remember, your opinion counts too! Review and tell me what you think! I'm not alone on this!**

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	31. EvelioandZgroup 6 & Jamie Skyland

**Story:**

_**American History X **_**by**_** EvelioandZgroup **_**and**_** Jamie Skyland**_

_Star Rating_: 4 out of 4 stars

_Review_: When two authors collaborate on a story, it's a 50-50 shot of being very good or very bad. In the archive here, it's about a 10% chance that it would be good since few have tried, and mostly failed at it. This one here, is the one that _I_ feel beat the odds and took something strong and deep to create a revolutionary story that has a topic that has not been mentioned, or even hinted. These two authors take us on a strong ride that will impact us on the truth. Let's begin:

Darwin is nearly expelled from school after a misfire at his history class when he chose a topic that was not appropriate to discuss on school grounds. Now, the tables are turned on him for what he believes in when he is assigned to do a paper from his principal for a new history class, he named "American History X." And the report is not what he though - the report will have to be on his brother, Gumball, who was arrested for murder, and is now out of prison. He must report what he knows of his life and how it affected him and others around him. One day is all it takes to change someone forever.

I have got to say, the only thing I don't like here is the few grammar mistakes (along with the 3-D characters as the excuse, but is close enough, so I'll let that one said. That is what I _would_ say if I didn't read it clearly).

This story strongly is recommended for every Gumball reader. I mean **_EVERY_** Gumball fan out there. Both of these talented authors take you on a poetic journey to within what is hate and what is love, but strikes more than what was predicted for it. These two don't just tackle racism in this happy little world, they create it to both destroy it and to raise it. They have both the ying and yang to provoke the essence of our society to a new level that was history in the making and can't be outdone. Gumball and Darwin are better than ever with both taking dramatic roles as brothers in a bond that has no clear definition, from hate, love, betrayal, redemption, and does more than one could imagine for a story that is both strong in its lesson, and the ending. The movie will give you what they wanted to show, but they created a story that will show Gumball in a world that is like the movie, and makes you feel like it was the movie. I have to say, even if it's not the end of the year yet, this is, by far, the best story of 2013 with its best writers: EvelioandZgroup and Jamie Skyland.

_Summary_: _American History X_ delivers stunning performances that have brought both Gumbal and Darwin to awarding winning characters that have left a mark on society with such hope and backlash with one single shot at it. This is the first and best story to tackle racism to it, but takes it up with such categorizing story telling in this epistolary novelette. My pick, so far, for the best story of 2013!

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	32. YprocKcid

**Story:**

**_The Panties _by_ YprockKcid_**

_Star Rating_: 2 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I think this guy, YprockKcid, was this generation's EvelioandZgroup, Antr, and NeoNimbus in the day. This guy was something unique. He may have been short lived with his stories, but those who read them was sure in for a surprise, and will not forget them anytime soon. But he has a dark elements that goes good with some, but others...they may go too far and miss its point. Let's begin:

Gumball is at the gym, working out. Out of nowhere, when he was changing, Jamie gives him a goo' ol' fashion wedgie. But what she pulled wasn't the expected undergarments. They were thin pink lace panties (the one women wear) and now becomes the ultimate weapon for humiliation. But it doesn't end, when she does more than an act of kindness, it's just goo' ol' fashion blackmail.

I like the fact that this author brought the right amount of depth and emotion with these characters. I also like the idea, the plot, maybe, and how it's used is somewhat original as I am concerned. The author delivered a sinister performance by Jamie and pushing down Gumball from the average kid to the weak one.

I have to say I didn't like how it went down. I think it may have gone too far with its plot and the ending. (Yes, I did - I did say I liked it, but it doesn't mean it was good.) The author takes a turn that seems like a friendly act into an emotional train wreck that makes you curl in your stomach. I think the way it turns out, isn't all what it seems to be a good story. Maybe an interesting read or prologue, but not as a story.

Improvement would have to be to continue this piece of work and deliver more than meets the eye. I think we need an ending, or some good closure. If not, this story is just a drug for those who like to read about suffering, and feel it firsthand (not bad, for a writer with this talent).

_Summary_: The Panties offer a stunning performance by Jamie and is something very dark. But, it also offers a buzz-kill with its change of hands and leaves us with an ending that isn't as satisfying as we would have hoped for a story. Fans or haters will demand a sequel. Hopefully, they will get one.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	33. Smiles-That-Are-Big

**Story:**

_**Fading Friendships **_**by**_** Smiles-That-Are-Big**_

_Star Rating_: 4 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I think this is a very small, yet, powerful story...Truly the author had something more intended, but has no idea what he is capable of doing with this idea. He does it so well that he just sees it as another story. This isn't, my friend. This isn't. Let's begin:

Nathan J. Rottweiler was a lonely kid at school, until he meets Gumball. They become good friends. But one bond will be broken, will another has been created, and yet another soul is again lost.

The writer provoked very strong memories in my day with this story. He touched angst with the horror of blood, but rather escaping what he - we, if you really get this story - was afraid of going back to again: Isolation or loneliness. He wrote a master story that brought an OC, from out of nowhere, and into the hearts of those he has related to. Truly a masterpiece from a writer who switch some sappy drafts to this challenge he made his master.

Improvement? The ending...is our life that we put ourselves in to feel Nathan's fear. That's the ending for those who want one: Live your life, have the past of Nathan to truly understand this _mesmerizing_ short story. This may be the biggest underrated story of all time. Read this story - not for Gumball, but for you who have felt his past.

_Summary_: One of the shortest stories here makes the biggest impact on teenage life since the novel _The Catcher in the Rye _and_ The Perks of Being a Wallflower_. He mixes the life of loneliness to hope and lost, bringing the lively hood of adolescent to a new high and strikes those of pain into a poetic justice of angst.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	34. YprocKcid 2

**Story:**

**_The Card _****by****_ YprocKcid_**

_Star Rating_: 2 out of 4 stars

_Review_: We have a short story by known Gumball fan fiction legend _YprocKcid_. This is the story that the author did the most recent. Not many people know why he is not making stories as usual, but I kind of consider him to be the _J.D. Salinger _of this archive. Let's begin:

The story takes place with Miss Simian being sick and having a substitute, but due to the substitute being a kindergarten teacher, she made them do arts and crafts. Gumball having done a macaroni piece art, he wanted to use glitter for it. He checks to see the glitter empty, but he's mad for something that wasn't out of hate. It was something more than that.

I think I disliked a bit of the grammar, but the one that really gets under my skin is the ignorance of the letter. Yes, it is in our nature to get mad and take it out on others. The writer decided to use the element of surprise and give a special gift in glitter, and a) couldn't piece it together and figure out who it came from and b) when you're surprised at something and forget what you're mad of, the least you can do is to see what's in the card for some reassurance. I think that's all that gets me to say it was a bit of a minor/big plot-hole.

I did enjoy the scenario of the simple "crush" short story and played out a bit well, but swapped the idea to same-sex pairing, which isn't a surprise if you are aware of the pairing, but will make you feel pity inside the mind of this young, confused, boy who wants to love someone and just have a connection, but is heavily ignored, showing that the one way to be with the person, isn't by hiding behind the shadows. He must gain confidence and try to be establish a connection.

In my opinion it does well as a short story, but gives off the temptation for it to be longer. The story is good on its own, but can be better with more to it than meets the eye. We can understand the emotion driven between these two young preteens to showcase a better perspective of this type of problem.

_Summary_: This may be one of the very few chances we have a glimpse at what it means to be confused and in love with someone you can't possibly understand. But, you will find this ending both flattering, and unfinished. The story goes both ways to please you and kind of make you mad since you want to have a better ending, or another story to explain further.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	35. Marches45

**Story: **

_**P**_**_ayback (Carine: The Mind of a Psychopath)_**** by ****_Marches45_**

_Star Rating_: 0.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: The funny thing about cartoons is that we know that two characters like each other and are going to end up together, but a fan pairing is actually more stronger than the actual canon one: Gumball and Carrie. These two have connected in the most bizarre scenarios, but have any actually proceeded successful (with the exception of _The Dark Night Of The Soul_)? No, they haven't. Now, many stories have started this kind of rave with fan childs with their own shenanigans. Let's begin:

Gumdrop (OC) has discovered a prank when someone has written on his forehead. The culprit is Carine (OC, yet again), who has been the victim of abuse. Now, with the tables turn, the person in control isn't the man of the house, but rather the _wo_man of the house.

I have to say that the story is very childish and breaks so many character traits. If Carine is now more dominated by natural causes and could have done it, then how could she have been lowered to the little guy when she had it in her, with no back-story? Along with some of the very few unnecessary OC and characters to be appear, it doesn't seem they should be involved in this. The idea of sibling rivalry has been done and trash, but this isn't an exception. I don't this story understands the meaning of children, unless they wanted to be a kiddie plot with adult dialogue, which doesn't work out, unless you know how to use it. We have OCs with no intention refresh our minds of who they are, and just assume them as the children of a pairing that doesn't have enough kids of their own to prove who they are.

I did like the fact it didn't have as much grammar errors as the usual stories here. The characters, though...maybe needs a different change.

_One-Shot_: A story of OCs that are too old to be still fighting, with little to no ground of realism anymore of this overrated pairing of children: Gumball and Carrie.

_Summary_: We have your favorite pairing, Gumball and Carrie, have their kids at their own shine, but show that they have too much bad parenting to be a dark and very un-amusing very of _Cheaper by the Dozen_. Each OC is there by respected owners, but what sort of reason do we have to explain it forward?

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	36. Bryce Avila 2 by SPS

Flame by Bryce Avila  
Rating: 3 out of 4

Review: Though Bryce Avila may not have many stories, she can still write a marvelous fic. In my personal opinion, this resembles the dictionary definition of a creative story. Ladies and gentlemen, I am referring to the story known as Flame.

Flame begins with Teri, suddenly acting suicidal. Penny tries to help, but Teri just shoots her down. A crowd gathers, but Teri passes out. A concerned Penny sends her to the nurse. She then contemplates her friendship with Teri. Shortly after, she hears screaming...and then the fire alarm.

The story is outstanding. The only flaws are the length and some of the grammar. Grammar-wise, it passes, with minor slip-ups here and there. Length-wise, the story is very short, and really should be continued.

Summary: In this story, friendships are tested and a life hangs in the balance. It is worth the read, and a short one at that. All and all, je suggère cela.

Adieu, mes amis, et ont une merveilleuse journée.

~Monsieur Psycho Sexie, FanFiction author/critc

**_I would like to say that I'm tangling with the idea of writing a story for the archive, but I want to see if I could and see how far it gets me. I want to know if you think I can go as far to do it._**


	37. Agent BM 4

**Story:**

**_A trip to disney world_ by _Agent BM_**

_Star Rating_: 0 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I haven't done a story that was updated in a while, so I decided today would be worth a try. It wasn't. I'm really getting tired of this. I mean, the used to be fun - the stories, reviews, and views, but now, it really doesn't seem to work for me. Why? This single story represent how fan fiction in Gumball's world has gotten. Let's begin:

Gumball's family wins a trip to Disney (_SEE HOW I SPELL IT!_) World and stuff happens.

What do I hate about this? EVERYTHING! Agent BM has been a good reviewer for me, and I appreciate it, but, as a good friend, I have to tell you how much you suck at writing stories that a little kid could write better than you. Come on, dude. I don't want to be the bad guy, but seriously

(_How long have you been writing? Have you even bother to try writing a story that actually connects? Have you tried to put periods in sentences? Have you ever decided that you need to do some massive rewriting? Have you even consider the fact that some people don't want this lame idea from a movie they would rather see than for you to f*** it up?_)

man, you have to learn.

Gumball and his family are going to an amusement park. Who hasn't thought about that? This story is like a vlog that has no meaning. You wrote (should I even consider saying that with you?) a story that celebrities tweet about stuff they're doing, besides what they're famous for: pointless, useless, and annoying when it's the same thing that everyone thought about and had a very good idea why it doesn't happen: it's not worth writing and shouldn't be wasted on. Many things here is like a family vacation, but why would we read someone writing it, when we can rather wait for the episode since it will be more entertains and well worth the wait.

Agent BM is someone who has a lot determination on writing, but is wasted too much. I say this as a friend who cares: Agent BM, I don't like any of your stories. Why? Because all have the same problems: Plot holes, so much grammar mistakes that are really simple, overused ideas, useless ideas, lame characters, unlikely and unexplained scenarios in your so-called sci-fi stories, predictable plots, and even the idea of basing off a movie or something, which either makes it bad or worse than it already did.

I think Agent BM needs to read a whole lot of books, absorb their styles and grammar, get inspired, and get a good idea. He did so much but that's what gets people away from this guy: every story is just the same. Nothing new.

He's a good guy, but I really think he should consider improvement than writing another story.

_Summary_: This is the same thing again, and it's nowhere near any different. I wonder if people even start to realize what we have instead of being at a state of incompetence.

**_I know how mean I sounded. But can I deny it? Never. What does this story represent? It represent how people in this small group of amateurs are becoming the single type of people that should have considered killing off a lot of people and just have a billion people. We are over growing our world when we shouldn't. We evolved into this crap that maybe we should say to ourselves_ I don't deserve to be here. I am a mistake my parents made as teenagers, as are so many others. I think like this because I'm able to realize that people around are being social and not much on learning and will become homeless and idiots, asking themselves why did this happen. I want to do something that makes me unique, not a dumb teenager of our generation. Someone who has a chance at being someone who actually matters_. __That is the truth of our lives. 8 billion people is something that we couldn't do so long ago. Now, its a nightmare. It's the very reason why everything is so damn expensive. Please, think about your life. Be the 1 in 8 that matters._**

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	38. Laengruk10001 2

**Story:**

**_The Elmore Diaries _by_ Laengruk10001_**

_Star Rating_: 2.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I think the reason for this review was to find a good science-fiction story. And, with today's they pretty much don't have any good style of telling sci-fi or anything about it. Most of today's pretty much are just plain stupid. I went back and found the most recent one that actually made me smile when reading this. Let's begin:

Gumball is now the unknown when the date, 12/21/12, has become his end, now becomes his journey to a life he couldn't explain.

I will say that this idea didn't stick too well with its genre (but for today's stories, this is Star Wars and Avatar's baby). It didn't follow he flow, but struggles its way of becoming a thriller. (I will even say that narration from a character's point of view to separate the narrator isn't by "quote" but italics with no "quotes.")

The joy of this is that it does justice to those who want a good read. This is given in detail of a solider experiencing the ways of an apocalypse in his world to be in a realm similar to Beast of the Southern Wild that can expressed in a way of District 9. It does well to really understand Lonnie's with its genre not intimidating the story.

_One-Shot_: Lanegruk10001 may not give you your laser fights, but delivers an emotional character in absolute loneliness.

_Summary_: The author proves to be the most underrated and gives a story that isn't about laser, but gives depth and inside a character's trapped home where he is the only one there.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	39. Urimizo 2

**Story:**

_**It's the Thought that Counts **_**by**_** Urimizo**_

_Star Rating_: 2 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I feel the horror stories when the show was just getting started were the best. I can't say they were good, but definitely better than the ones today, with the except of a few. Very few. Nonetheless, I shall review this classical piece of horror, but is it really what they made it out to be the boogeyman? Let's begin:

Gumball has finally got the courage to talk to Penny, and has arranged for a special evening on February 14, Valentine's Day. But it will be a surprise, alright. A surprise she will never say to anyone. At least not alive.

I have to say I enjoyed the brutality scenes, since it was a good way to aspect Gumball's drive to insanity. The story does have a good inside creativity in the brutal minds of psychos, but can get a little messy.

I have to say that I didn't like how it started up. I mean, there really is no good way for him to go insane. It states from the beginning that he and her were basically a thing, but not clearly. It even hinted them more than just good friends, along with having more confidence than the normal trouble-maker as we know it. Some of the torture scenes kind of gave off that after taste from a bad direct-to-DVD horror movie.

_One-Shot_: Coming from a fan fiction pioneer, Urimizo, manages to give a horror-love story that is well in depth, but can be a little much.

_Summary_: Urimizo this infamous author and story proves they know more than they can handle. It's the Thought that Counts goes as far to give Gumball the award-winning performance of such a sinister role that is believable, but not so much in this story. He can still give a little freshness but recycles a similar method that may get old, but this is a horror classic that is hard to replace with today's stories.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	40. Jamie Skyland 2

**Story:**

_**Getting It On **_**by**_** Jamie Skyland**_

_Star Rating_: 3 out of 4 stars

_Review_: This may be about 2,000 words and not really a big thing on the archive, but I can conquer that this story is really dangerous. Why? Because this story has been ignored, but when understood, it can very well turn horrendous. Let's begin:

An unnamed and unknown protagonist (possibly male) has been expelled, with him looking back at his father who was vicious back then. Now, he takes the ultimate act of rebelling the school in the most deadliest way.

I have to say that the story here is very hard to unlock, when it is very short and abandon. This may not be your regular story to understand, and you really have to have more than just an average mind of imagination.

I like the fact that the protagonist is unknown, since it actually symbolizes you, the reader, as the one taking charge and you having your breaking point. Jamie delivers a strong act of psychological that _I Killed Penny Fitzgerald_ won't take you, but is a difficult puzzle to crack. You must crack its mystery at what it has to say, but it first must be continued.

_One-Shot_: Jamie brings a strong person in this world of hate and angst that is nearby an impossible to understand, but is very life changing when you unlock a deeper meaning.

_Summary_: Jamie Skyland brings the first story to a masterpiece of angst and psychological with a protagonist that is unknown and can't be outdone. Jamie gives a strong back story with an ending of the first chapter that is both vital and deadly. The only thing you won't get about it is that you need more to explain it. When you interpret it, you live in this trapped emotional state of hate and lost. You are what's Getting It On.


	41. fantom fiction 2

**Story:**

_**Gumball's new feelings **_**by**_** fantom fiction**_

_Star Rating_: 1.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I think the most powerful couple here is Gumball and Carrie. No matter if it's bad or good or it doesn't seem to make sense, they always prevail after a good couple story that actually had some of the lime light. They beat Gumball and Penny, Gumball and Jamie, and Teri, and Darwin, and Nicole, and a WHOLE lot! But, do we really understand how they feel? Let's begin:

The perfect love story of Gumball, as he is asked from Carrie to be her science partner. It falls all into a place, but it seems like it just might be faith, not just luck.

I think I like the effort for this story and giving a love story with its all. It doesn't struggle and just doesn't stop.

The bad news is that I don't like what it's doing. Gumball and Carrie are in this cliche joyless ride with smiley faces on their face for the entire time, and it's nowhere near a level of true love. This is mark market romance, and it's not even good. The story gives its all, but the way the story is, and how it is, the story is just two little kids just smooching and make you say to those people that they should just get a room. We have a story that is just happiness and can give no thrills in what you would get in a romance, but will please any Gumball and Carrie fans. Others, you won't convince them that this a good idea to write a fan fiction. In fact, it almost seems like it was played out to be Gumball and Penny to be story, just replaced with Carrie. That's why people like this story: Gumball and Carrie are in meant to be together (in this reality). It's not very original, and the idea is a bit overrated.

The grammar, is so-so, but the paragraphs that progressed seemed to adjusted in a way that may have been much. I think they adjusted to this way of really expanding the paragraph, but it doesn't do well. I will say that it does better than regulars. Like Evelio's style of early writing, it's manageable.

_One-Shot_: If you love Gumball and Carrie, this is for you, but when you realize that it is overused, and it seems to be just a typical romance story, you can just say it's just a Caball or Gumrrie story for them, nothing more.

_Summary_: The author does a story that is about true love, and it goes for all Gumball and Carrie fans. For others? Let's just leave it like Western, it only applies for a few, but this plot line seems to be done and reused, with some unusual and unrealistic character dialogue. I don't think this good, but it's really bad. It just reuses many ideas that have been used too many times. This doesn't have a good act of originality, but will satisfy this pairing love story. It's a life story, but I wouldn't go for it. But, if you're Gumball and Carrie crazies, this is for you. Regardless if you think it's good or bad, this is a story you will be satisfy if you enjoy the pairing.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	42. YprocKcid 3

**Story:**

_**The Dark Night Of The Soul **_**by**_** YprocKcid**_

_Star Rating_: 3 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I think this may be one of the first stories that went with Gumball and Carrie, and was actually done better than others. This story does a lot in so little words and with characters that are relatable and can easily be more understandable while having the edge of innocence with their eyes. You can't ignore this, but is there mistakes in this classic? Let's begin:

Carrie has been in this controlled daze that she looks upon Gumball and Penny in their happy relationship since The Party. Carrie feels something more stronger than one can imagine. Love may be the strongest emotion anyone can feel, but you need two to complete one heart.

I love Carrie in this story. She's very depressed, but has a darker side within a softer side to tell a story of a lost heart that was never found until he came along. Superb is the word I would call Carrie in this. I also admire the fact that this was intentionally a song-fic, but not many know this. How the author did this matches the charm and heart of _Maybe this Christmas_, but in one couple that may need more than just one to care about the other. He does this, while prevailing with good grammar, but showcases some impressive supporting role from Gumball, who is the boy who tries to be nice when he has someone already to love. I also have to say I enjoyed the strong ending it deliver with a symbol at the end that is left to interpretation.

I have to say I also disliked the ending, which prevented it from a 4 star rating. Why? Well, the author did keep a realism of a cat's life span, but it didn't fit the world. If he died because of cat's life span, shouldn't he be old and Nicole dead? That's a big plot-hole that was very much overlooked.

_One-Shot_: The near-perfect Gumball and Carrie love story that shoots up with its character realism and isn't afraid to admit the truth, while taking dark turns, but work evidently.

_Summary_: YprocKcid gives us the strongest performance of writer storytelling with these characters that give their all in this love story that just doesn't let you have the satisfactions that you would have for a couple, but makes you feel love and compassion that inspires more fan fictions of this couple. A masterpiece for this pairing.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	43. Miles Preston

**Story:**

**_The Amazing World of Gumball: Father_**** by ****_Miles Preston_**

_Star Rating_: 2.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: This is, no doubt, a classic. So many people would ask this if they really saw some different aspects on their life. What if Richard wasn't his father? What if he just so happen to mimic his dad because of the average father role model? How would this have happened? But my question is different: How would it work? Let's begin:

Gumball begins his 13th birthday as a big thing. He is finally a teenager, but an unexpected guest has come (I won't even buff it out, the dad. If you really don't pay attention) to reveal an unusual proposition. Could this be a greater understanding, or a dangerous attempt to brainwash for something else?

I have to say I like this story. I really do. This story is built on exceptional background that is reasonable and somewhat builds the idea of fiction with the elements of old-fashion drama. He brings the illusion to life, with a character that means so much, in so little time. I feel more compassion with this OC than any other character. They bring this idea of an ultimate empire, while shooting it down the last second, almost like a Stephen King story. He also evaluates the balance with both character sides of family and who is your family.

The bad thing, I will say, is the plot holes. The ending seemed like it was too quick, even though I said I enjoyed it, but it seemed to have given up too quick and just skip us to a dramatic walk scene on walk life. that didn't work too much for me. Also, even if the guy was able to track everything down and pursued him at a young age, why would he bother now, instead of getting towards him at a different time line. He also did a mix scenario with him trying to reach to him with lust and hate, but also compassion when the plot. He messed up with the character arc when he made him seem with bipolar or something. He also seemed like this idea was taken like a growing stick, but snapped like it was hit by thunder. They also have this idea of Gumball being already betrayed when he was explained at the time and should have handled it as an adult, unless he had the idea of making him bipolar with his dad as well.

The only improvement I would say was to take the ending and change it. I feel the idea was cut too short and didn't feel too much like it was the story people would be satisfied enough for Gumball and his dad to be like this. Extend this story instead of being this get-rich-but-fail-before-it-even-ends thing. That's all I ask for this story that nearly everyone would enjoy.

_One-Shot_: Besides the ending, Miles Preston gives a story of good family drama that showcases suspense in an ordinary action that seems to mix and match the idea of symbols and pass off to become the one who got away.

_Summary_: Miles Preston demonstrates a story that gives more tension than a usual father-and-son story with a complexity of suspense and drama of family that is untouched by other matters. Gumball and his father show a powerful movement of family that remains a strong dramatic family story. But the ending will leave you somewhat okay-ed by it, but tackles the idea of it being more than just a "what-if" scenario which ends with it as well, but not the right since it wasn't on purpose.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	44. Antr 2

**Story:**

_**Love Circle **_**by**_** Antr**_

_Star Rating_: 3 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I think when you hear_ Antr_, you would think of the series _Talking_. Personally, I don't see why he can't post every week or daily since he isn't doing any story. Heck, I do this sometimes 3 times a day - you don't see me complaining. But, he has left some stories that are entertaining, but I think one is where it has its ups and downs, but if it should be completed - couldn't we all agree on that? Let's begin:

Gumball starts hinting to Darwin about a "friend" who likes someone else, while this starts with many of them revealing who they like, including Penny, Darwin, Masami, Rachel, Carrie, and Tobias. Could this be a disaster, or an instant romantic comedy classic?

I have to say that some paragraphs aren't what they should be since you could separate them, after all. But this is an early work from a good author, but it isn't much of a pass. You can also argue how all of a sudden they all decided to give this confession to each other. (Yeah, many things can happen the first day. But how can you keep this secret that they all had at different times to just blurt it out the same or similar day?)

I have to say this story really brings up some good suspense. If you enjoy each of these characters and feel their emotion while you enjoy them battling out for each other in this staring contest, then it can really tense you up to figure out who wins. This story also shows a good depth of storytelling from Antr and brings a good amount of heart and soul in these few chapters that makes us want him to continue.

Improvement? I think a bit of editing from now and a simple request of finishing the story is all anyone of his fans could ask.

_One-Shot_: Antr may bring some scenes familiar, but how he gives emotion to these characters and make you feel their heart and soul is a one-of-kind romantic comedy that seems to give more than just a simple picture of fame, but of love and hate.

_Summary_: You see this sci-fi dude turn into a romantic teen who gives the audience a chance for their pairing, hope at its best, and gives you suspense to who ends up with who. Love Circle is a heartwarming journey that doesn't have enough time to itself to continue this story. You will praise and cheer for this story to continue.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	45. Mr Page

**Story:**

_**The Loop **_**by**_** Mr. Page**_

_Star Rating_: 3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I was going to do one of the most requested ones I have gotten from the incident (which was _The Running Cat _since they said _Go review that one. It's his best!_). To me, I'll do that some other time since I wanted to do the most followed story in the archive. Sadly, I already did. The most followed is _The Love_. I give lexboss and EvelioandZgroup a round of applause since she wrote, but if he hadn't fixed it up and with the good encouragement, I don't think many would have taken a chance at this incest story. So I went to 2nd most followed. I'll say this, I was in for a treat. Let's begin:

Gumball has just the got the worst day of his life. You can say you're girlfriend broke up with you, or you failed a big test, or you betrayed your best friend, or ruined something that you barely had anything to do, or really did something stupid that caused you total end. Well, try all of that, in one day, for the rest of your life.

I have to say that I love this story. I really do. It's not your typical story (well, except for the topic of the plot) - this writer has ranked himself a true fan fiction author that has established a story with enough depth, heart, emotion, betrayal, and so much in this story that you can't get enough. He gave Gumball a role that gives many illusion while having the side humor that is a bit tacky, but works all too well to Gumball the lesson of a lifetime. Two thumbs up for this story. Marvelous characters that have been introduced, even with minor characters that are important and poetic.

I do have a problem with this story. It seems like Gumball is being a little too stupid in this story. He is a troublemaker, but seems without his colleagues to help, it seems to have drawn him to lose track of obvious mistakes. I also have a problem with the idea of being repetitive with some things, even if it is a loop.

Improvement? Actually none. I just want to see how well this will go, and you should too.

_One-Shot_: A triumph and comedic novel in time, with Mr. Page giving Gumball a story that is more worthy and a definite contender for awards.

_Review_: Mr. Page gives one story, but gives a novel that is worth waiting for. He drives adrenaline through your heart with these characters going like a ticking time bomb that just goes very well into giving us heartwarming, yet devastating performances from the cast. One of the best of the year, and of all time in the archive.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	46. guitarguy12345

**Story:**

_**Three Cheers for Love and Sorrow **_**by**_** guitarguy12345**_

_Star Rating_: 1 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I know I said I was going to the Agent BM story, but I decided against for obvious reasons. So I decided to do a review on the most favorite story. Again, I already the TOP 4. Jeez! 1# is _The Love_ 40 favorites (again a round of applause), #2 is _My New Family_ with 39, #3 _The Loop_ with 36, and #4 _The Newcomer_ with 31 favorites. I really did a number on myself with this. So I decided to review #5. By the summary of this story, I can already tell what I'm gonna say. Let's begin:

The story starts off with Carrie getting turned on. Gumball notices this, and wants to help her out with that. Things start to tense up when Carrie and Gumball start to hang out when he revealed that his parents are now separated, with Darwin and Anais gone. Things are about to get messy.

I think when people read this story, they're gonna understand why I didn't like it. Well, it's simple: The scenes that are involved seem like an erotic set up for some old fashion high school lust, without having any good sense of dialogue, leaving some ideas to rest itself as a romantic story. If I didn't know any better, I would think the writer was just trying to give a safe version of _Fifty Shades of Gray_. Carrie is also a bit of a disappointed because she goes back into this shy girl, without the real rebellion of her original personality, but doesn't add up scenes, unless you like the pairing (and the sex). They're even some plot holes in the story.

What I like from this story is really nothing. What keeps me from the zero is two things: 1) This isn't an Agent BM story that just rushes into stuff without good explanation and just considers it a story (well, maybe that's what this story is too). 2) The story is actually a better side of Gumball and Carrie, but not by much. Better than the others stories they make. The writer just decided instead of them working to a relationship and said _Just have them f**k already. _

_One-Shot_: The writer gives a high school turn on story, without really the sex part, but rather a set up, but still does no justice.

_Summary_: The writer gives a story that just drifts from the original character arc and dumps them in the face of regular high school-ers, but doesn't give much satisfaction. If you want a Gumball and Carrie story, you could do worse.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	47. EvelioandZgroup 7 (SA!)

_**SPOILER ALERT!  
SPOILER ALERT!  
SPOILER ALERT!  
THIS IS A REVIEW FROM A NEW CHRISTMAS BY EVELIOANDZGROUP  
SOME DETAILS MAY SPOIL YOUR SUSPENSE OF THE NEW STORY  
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!**_

* * *

**Story:**

_**Remembering Infinite Sorrow **_**by**_** EvelioandZgroup**_

_Star Rating_: 4 out of 4 stars

_Review_: F*** _The Running Cat_ any day of the week and the dog days of war or some crap. This story is something special. I actually cried at the ending of this story. I'm telling you, EvelioandZgroup said it wouldn't have matched with _Maybe this Christmas_ momentum, but this story...this is something very special and very true. Let's begin:

Gumball is at a Christmas party at age 18, while a girl, he doesn't begin to detail begins to start giving him some special interest, while everyone there is having a good time. He leaves out in the snow, and begins to walk, while remembering about his life, chronicles from 5-16 years of work. Jamie has been the bully to him, but something greater is being pushed when all the damages that life has to offer is how far you are willing to save your true love.

I hate nothing from this story. You have beauty, suspense, drugs, romance, fighting, twists, tragedy, there's no stopping!

What I love from this story is that it shows Gumball and Jamie in a role that reminds you of _My New Fam_ily as both a prequel and a sequel in a deeper psychological role. I'm telling what Gumball readers will know, but this story is far more than that. This story represent a darker, yet true message: You don't have to have love at first sight to know it's true love. You don't even have to know about it being love. Faith gives you tests to prove if you are worthy for the one you love. This progresses a thrilling joy ride. Two thumbs up, WAY UP! This may be the best holiday story of the archive, and it isn't even going to be released until December 1st to December 12th or December 13th to December 25th to symbolize the 12 days of Christmas thing. I'll tell you, it is going to be a story that is worthy of anyone's read. Based on the original screenplay, that I read, that is both faithful and heartbreaking as the real one. This mixes elements of betrayal, song, friendship, family, nature vs. nurture ordeal, and so much symbols in this wickedly fantastic read of all time. I can't stress this enough, when you see that it's up, read it all. Don't be discouraged by the first or second or third chapter, there is more than meets the eye (except for Agent BM, they're not even_ worth_ to even be written).

_One-Shot_: EvelioandZgroup repress the idea of having a holiday once again with an American landmark story that is far too real to even consider being just _another_ story.

_Summary_: _Maybe this Christmas_ won't even begin to be compared with _Remembering Infinite Sorrow_. A tale of love and hate that balances the equally demonstrated message that will live on to the future. Gumball and Jamie are given romantic roles they haven't been good in since _My New Family_. Your holiday session will never be the same when you read (and hopefully see the movie) _Remembering Infinite Sorrow_. The best holiday/Christmas story of the year, of all time, and even the best story of the year, and, most likely, of all time. Don't miss this mesmerizing story that will leave you heartbroken, and even joyful.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	48. Marches45 2 by Jamie Skyland (News)

**Story:**

**_The Will (The Siren That Didn't Sound) _by_ Marches45_**

_Star Rating_:3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: My name is Jamie Skyland. I'm filling in for this review. Some of you know this writer, some stories were written bad and such. Honestly, I wouldn't have thought of him as a worthy writer to be read. This - this marks the true landmark of improvement, since Evelio did. Let's begin: (for Henry.)

Nicole is driving home, looking back at what has occurred; a school has exploded, her got the best of her, resulting in her now jobless, two of kids now expelled, and a future that is uncertain. She decides to take her anger and use it on those who harmed her before and those she felt she has failed. There may have been only one way out.

I have got to start off with what's not right: The sequence of flashbacks can actually be alerted in a sinkhole paragraph by saying:

"Nicole drove by, remembering what had just happened."

You can then just begin the flashback and even end it by a sentence like the first.

Another would have to be how the school had just blown up (but I believe it's because of Gumball being about slapstick so it could work, but, then again, it was suppose to be serious, so I'll let it slide.) And a little bit quick on the whole suicide thing.

Whats great about this story is that even with the realistic flaws, you feel and get it. It's a story that feels perfect and very powerful! This story strikes readers with a realm of how it can occur. You know why she did it and how believable it is for Gumball blowing up a school because of a fly. The story matches how Gumball and his world can get under your skin with a very serious situation. This story gives a short, but very meaningful performance for Nicole that can get you to understand the mind of a mother losing it when you know already know how the characters are. The writer makes it so believable that it just hits you very hard (It did that for me.) This story dedicated to Henry is a story that I believe that he would see all of what has changed and how real this feels. He would have liked it.

This is the part where he would usually say what the writer would need for improvement, but I think he already got it better than others. He is great in this story as he deserves a nomination for _Best Writer_ for this.

_One-Shot_: Marches45 delivers the lessons of both improving your writing skills, and giving a message on realism that just doesn't come on too often, not even by the best.

_Summary_: A story dedicated to Henry is a story that is far by compelling and superb. This author has ranked himself among the best with a story that is sure by among the greats and finest works of fiction brought on by the real world, making elements of the show.

**~ I'm Jamie Skyland, Author/Critic**

* * *

**I would like to inform those who may not be aware of the situation but, here it is: Henry Peters is in the hospital for acquiring HIV and was rushed to the ER. We were sure he would have died, but he's alive. But the doctors aren't so sure now. I'm writing this whole thing on mobile, so cut me some slack if some words are misspelled or a sentence doesn't make much sense. The doctors aren't sure of his conditions, but I'll tell you this: Some people were very grateful for being there to support him and understand this. I want to list them all of:**

**lexboss**

**Marches45**

**the Delhison**

**BlackAcez**

**DeutscheRegal**

**Harry S. Truman**

**Zombiefear101**

**fantom fiction (who people thought he had a feud, but I checked and there wasn't any feud, and he was very understanding.)**

**Ebin H. Graham (Sir Psycho Sexie, a critic who was around with him)**

**I know that I may forget some people, but these are from my head and him, and I only got some knowledge because of what's happening now. But, there's two people who I feel deserve some spotlight for being insensitive jerks.**

**Agent BM. I know people say it's about his stories, but he's the one who started up this whole thing about trying to improve and starts getting everyone to go with his side. He's the very reason Henry was played out as the boogeyman. My friends, he also kept going on and on to him, when if he didn't want to be said stuff, why did he keep coming back and having something to say when he blocked the user (I know because I tried to see if any conflict resolved, but he blocked him, and still kept sending hate to him when he didn't even block him. Why? Because Henry believed he had just the same right to speak his mind instead of blocking someone and say bad things to them. Agent BM just had to either ignore them, or just not read them, instead of going back and expecting to be a man when he was just a coward. I even read reviews saying critics are destroying his career here. He didn't have a career to begin with. You can say all the bad stuff to me, but he's the reason for it. If he didn't want the criticism, he didn't have to read them. Instead he did, when he even wrote the authors he reviewed.**

**codyhobgood271. He started to get into conflict with him, and kept saying stuff to him when Henry just tried to defend himself. I have the entire conversation kid it keeps going on and on. I even talk to him about the whole situation. He told me that Henry should die and call me a B!TCH. I tried acting like adults but he refused to. He got into so much conflict that it breaks my heart to see someone just say those horrible things, before and after he's dying. Is he really a good person? No way. I tried roaming to him like adults and he treated it like a kid. I even have the conversation now. Here it is, unedited:**

**J: You do realize that he's dying of HIV and is currently in the hospital?**

**1 hour ago**

**C: A**

**1 hour ago**

**C: And you are?**

**1 hour ago**

**J: The one sitting right next to him, along with all of his friends and family**

**I'm the one who understand what has happened**

**Has it ever occurred to you that maybe the reason you think he's an ** because you said bad stuff him while he tried to defend himself?**

**Has it ever occurred to you that the hate mail you send to him because an author you liked had settled it out with him until you decided to spread you nose where it shouldn't be at?**

**Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you're the ones who make it out to be a bad thing?**

**It's people like you that give constructive critism as either a troll or hater when you don't even know how it works**

**1 hour ago**

**C: I think you are lieing through your teeth and I got two words for you F off. If he starts sh-t he better be a man and back it up.**

**1 hour ago**

**J: He did**

**He's dying and all you could can do is act like a child**

**I hope you're happy with this all**

**Because I'll be damn if I let you think you can just rub your nose into others and think differently about them when you don't even know them**

**He helped others, while you placed him as the boogeyman**

**1 hour ago**

**C: Man you sound like a b-tch. End chat.**

**1 hour ago**

**J: I think you will never understand all of this, and I'm fine with that**

**But I'm not that**

**You are**

**You made this out to be a bad thing and he sits there dying**

**You deserve to die, not him**

**1 hour ago**

**C: Hope he dies b-tch. XD**

**1 hour ago**

**J: I think you're cruel, and I'm definitely showing this all for an example to what you did**

**1 hour ago**

**C: Kiss my a-s.**

**1 hour ago**

**J: You have no respect for any of this, do you?**

**I will show everyone that they should stay away from you**

**You are insesitive and should just shut up**

**1 hour ago**

**Is that really a person who would try to settle out difference and act like adults? I don't think so.**

**My thing that I want to say is, I hope for the best to come. And those he has hurt, he would do his best to keep you at pace to improve yourself. He doesn't say bad things to hurt you. He says it to help. Here's why, it was a review back awhile when I informed others of what happened but the speech is just as good.**

**_To really not stop writing and keep going is to accept that criticism. We all write for fun, but what is really the point of writing is to reach to others. If we can't fix our mistakes, we might lose interest in others and they take us like we don't know what we're talking about. We have to better ourselves to reach them out. We must fix our mistakes or we lose the ones we try to reach. Because the people who were crazy enough to change the world are the ones who do. And now this, Henry is in the hospital. He was just rushed in to the ER. Me, Bryce, Evelio, and all of his friends and family are here. He's dying. He was the one who was crazy enough to believe in us and help change us to better ourselves. But I guess you can't understand that. You've never had a friend die in front of your eyes. All you had to do was take the advice and improve. That was it, but people keep seeing it as it being a troll. Now, this? I don't even know how I can see you as a person, or the archive. See that others who hated him go rot in the ground. That's all you will ever be until you learn. You don't have to learn from me or him. The ones that are in school try to help but you don't let them help you. Let them improve what you try to be to become what you want. Now go on, and let me be with my friend as he dies in front of my eyes._**

**I hope this reaches out to others. It was never meant to hurt you, but to inspire and better yourself.**

**Jamie Skyland**


	49. Lone Dark Knight by EvelioandZgroup

**Story:**

_**Honor Thy Family **_**by**_** Lone Dark Knight**_

_Star Rating_: 3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Hello, my name is EvelioandZgroup. I have chosen a story to review that was good so we wouldn't have any bad reviews since we believe it's Henry's thing. We decided to not mention any stories we read to come up with a review since we believe it might offend others. Let's begin: (Henry's style)

Gumball has been the one who has seen things no man would ever live to see the day of light again. He is an only child (and only family) to go into Elmore and do an assignment that becomes a twist in itself when he encounters a girl of his past, Penny. This romantic action thriller becomes the idea of redemption and faith, but what will happen.

I think I would say I didn't have much focus on was the idea of how it drifted too quick from its action and more to its romance.

I did like the fact that it equaled the amount of thrills and emotion that one can deliver with a story that has action, thrills, suspense, mystery, all of the stuff to make a good story. It really makes you feel the characters in a certain pace of fast emotion that Gumball and Penny have never been in.

_One-Shot_: Lone Dark Knight strikes, and delivers a romantic thriller that is worth reading, anytime.

_Summary_: Lone Dark Knight is one of my inspirations, way before this story came out, and now it's yours. He brings Gumball a dynamic hero who must choose to become the villain or the hero in a story that feels emotion and heart with Penny as a good romance story. Gumball and Penny have entered a story that only this writer would be able to pull off.

**~ I'm EvelioandZgroup, signing off**


	50. UnKnownSalvation by Bryce Avila

**Story:**

_**The Homecoming **_**by**_** UnKnownSalvation**_

_Star Rating_: 3 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I'm Bryce Avila, and I'll tell you from beginning, I barely have nay favorites in this archive. Not because they're bad, but because they just don't get it. Sometimes we feel that we read a certain thing, not because of the characters, but because we want them to happen. I actually see very few stories that act out scenarios that you would believe the characters would do, or at least make sense. Here's one that isn't my cup of tea, but a story that gets it. Let's begin: (Henry Peters's style)

Gumball has very limited time because of an upcoming dance, one of the biggest that won't determine his social life, but what can happen with picking someone to go with. Gumball has a choice between people, but this mashes with many feuds and ideas that is just an emotional stairwell that gives us the idea that every ending, takes just one step.

I have to say that I don't like what was happening. I see Darwin acting a bit more naive while characters seem to have adjusted to a certain time line and such, but seems cheesy, as if we were just brought up to believe we will end up like this; almost like we all find true love by true love's first kiss. What I'm saying is that act like we know, but should have changed a bit differently, then some other direction.

I actually felt connected with some of these characters that have been introduced. Gumball feels the emotional ultimatum that marks a symbol in life that we all have a choice to fine the right one, while there will be obstacles and fights, but there is more to it than that. We also have tons of pressure introduced to us. We have this idea that high school won't really seem like, but have this foreshadowing task of what can happen in one of the best ideas of Gumball being in high school. It's not the best, but it's a great start to begin inspiration for ideas of how we can cherish these moments and hope for the one.

Improvement would try to ease more with the characters.

_One-shot_: _The Homecoming_ is a test of friendship and love, the ending is what we hope for, but thrills us for the best one.

_Review_: I believe that this story has got all the ideas for a good romance (and I don't favor romances often): fate, choice, time, suspense, obstacles, thinking, friendship, more or less this is good. We have a story that focuses on high for Gumball, and remains as one of the best.

**~ Bryce Avila, Author, Critic, Screenwriter**


	51. YprocKcid 4 by Jamie Skyland

**Story:**

_**The DIY Amusement Park **_**by**_** YprockKcid**_

_Star Rating_: 3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: My name is Jamie Skyland, and here we are in this classic, one of the most underrated, and definitely one of greatest Gumball and Carrie stories. None that I have seen has made this impact on making you feel a connection and understand it, while having the need to write a Gumball and Carrie love story. This, my friend, is the basics to begin their relationship. Let's begin: (for Henry)

Gumball isn't allowed to go to an amusement park from Larry, who has decided to take his job more seriously (ironically, when he did, he got fired) and not let Gumball go on the good rides he did when he was careless. Gumball now strolls along the way, with an unexpected person, with an unexpected to determine a friendship that has been on the bound, waiting for it to start.

I'll start with what i didn't like, or found that didn't make such sense. Gumball has been in through situation and has some idea of the aerodynamics, but doesn't stay relevant or true to Carrie's ability, instead putting some tacky inside jokes while harboring the stereotypes of a so-called ghost.

What I liked is a story that matches the idea with _The Dark Night Of The Soul_, but has a more satisfying idea to it, while letting us feel welcome with the idea that these two could be together. It allows us to say that we want them to be together, but emerges these ideas for them to happen, but no idea how to begin this pairing, with a beginning like this. A masterpiece, and an instant classic!

_One-Shot_: YprocKcid delivers a story that matches his previous achievement with a more happy side with their lives, and encourages us with this pairing.

_Summary_: If you liked his previous stories, you'll love this story that matches wits, humor, heart, and allows us to enter a world that makes us feel like we're really on the sky. We must live our life as if we were flying. This story will bring out the butterflies in you, smiling that they're connecting as one. You won't stop liking this pairing when you read this story. A beautiful landmark in this pairing.

**~ Jamie Skyland, Author/Critic**

**Celebrate this ONE MONTH achievement of nonstop reviewing, and post a review of your favorite story! We might just review it!**


	52. Penelope Peterson (Review Roulette!)

**_We have some interesting news. Evelio was suppose to review a story today, but this story was something else. He chose this story called _****Craw's Past****_, written by a newcomer, Penelope Peterson. Now, what doesn't add up is that we all have our opinions, me, Evelio, Jamie, even Henry, who is actually doing much better. So, we all decided to write a review for this story. I will tell you this, this is the first review from Henry since the accident. We now introduce_**** Review Roulette!**

**Story:**

_**Craw's Past **_**by**_** Penelope Peterson**_

* * *

Evelio's review

_Star Rating_: 1 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I feel that we have had a lot of unique stories, but that's actually a low percentage on stories that have come out this year. I have read a story that seemed interesting, but am I ready for it? Let's begin:

An OC, who may be unnamed, follows a girl into a forest with a location that has never been determined, Craw's Past. This soon becomes an idea to concern both family and danger with the idea of it being open: there is no way to escape.

I like the fact that there is little to no grammar error, and the idea of both the disintegration of the family and the idea of Craw's Past being optimistic. I do enjoy that.

What I didn't like was the fact that it might have been out of order. I feel this story will leave you clueless, and is very hard to get a certain grip on what it is, but doesn't mean you can discourage the idea of what it's about about, and its meaning. I feel certain readers will be left dazed and confused on what it's all about. Also, I feel it was a bit sloppy.

Improvement? Nothing, just the story on how it was placed on extending and rushing it a bit. Or I just wan't clear on what the author was doing.

_One-Shot_: Penelope Peterson proves to be a good writer, but this story may ward off readers when it's read out of context and illusion.

_Summary_: This newcomer is one that seems to be writing in a profession, but does it seem too strong, too much, or too out-there? I feel this story is ahead of time, or just been tried so hard that it was overdone.

~ I'm EvelioandZgroup, signing off

* * *

Henry's Review

_Star Rating_: 4 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Do we all have this idea to really test our minds to a place that is now in the open? Has any writer proved to be this good and so powerful that this is no ordinary story? I think no writer in this archive has ever written this type of realism, masterful piece of work. Let's begin:

We have a young person chasing after a girl named Ana, who eventually gets trapped in this forbidden, yet mysterious forest that has no location of where these events take place. Now, we learn the history of a victim that has a confusing, yet startling journey.

What I like about this? Everything! The masterful illusion that keeps us in pace that is very sinister and unknown that is very unusual, yet you have this story that is a mystical vision of both fear and death with a paradox that unlocks the sinister level of both fear, redemption - the ideas are more than just a possibility. The author didn't leave it like that because she was sloppy, but because we can draw illusions to many connections. I praise this as one of the best stories to have ever come out in this archive, ever. The character symbolizes you. Put yourself in there, with these symbols, and you'll understand the power of this.

_One-Shot_: When this story gets you thinking otherwise, you'll be stunned by what the author can make you see and realize about life.

_Summary_: There is no other way I would have started reviewing for a while, while have wrote it on my friend's iPod, but pleases me to know that I was given a story that is unmatched. We are given a story that is so far ahead of our narrative story plot that it's a classic that is very smart, deep, and very personally in many ways. The secret in this puzzling story is within our own predictions and interpretations. This is a story that is very in their. No writer can accomnplish this. Not one.

**~I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**

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Bryce's Review

_Star Rating_: 3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: There are very few female writers (me, lexboss, and Jamie) that really know how well in the archive. This story was very small, but I believe this is something that spirals itself into another dimension. Let's begin:

After chasing a girl for suspicion, he is then wound up in this craze of delusion and despair, where he is reminded of his past, leading to the point of what's happening.

Honestly, I don't like how the brother left. It seemed rushed in there.

I did like the symbol in this story. I actually think this is something very new and original on how it's used. The author is seemingly using these ideas of how the voices and such actions can be thought of as something else and very secretive to illusions. I think we are put in this person as a strong idea that leads to many connections that are very real and very unusual as it seems. Very significant.

Improvement would have to be taking their time on it. I don't know how she works, but this seems like it can go either way.

_One-Shot_: Penelope Peterson is very dynamic in this short story as a prodigy with a gift at mentally thinking through many ways.

_Summary_: This is definitely one of the greats of this archives. Why? Because it took you where no story here (and possibly in books) hasn't before. This is a story that leads us to think deeper and think more deadly than just the average eye, with us at ease of pain and depression, while it can be countered as a powerful mind bending weapon. You will never find another like this.

**~ Bryce Avila, Author, Critic, Screenwriter**

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Jamie's Review

_Star Rating_: 2 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I think the weird thing about reviewing stories is one that doesn't add up, or it seems good, but you're left clueless about some things. That's what I'm getting to. Let's begin:

We have a boy that chases a girl, which soon turns deadly when he is soon consumed into the wrath of this dimension that separates us from our world.

I don't like how the story went back and forth, since I did enjoy the style of it, but maybe there were more places to put, but for some reason, I get it. Another would be the idea, which is a bit understated, but is this how are we suppose to understand it?

I did like how we were left optimistic about the background and style, with its technique about the characters, while adding depth to all of them. The characters seem almost real, while adding these characteristics as symbols. I did find that satisfying.

I have no idea whether I can find this good or bad, maybe average, but it's something we can all judge for sure.

Improvement? I think we should see if we can change it around, or have another story included.

_One-Shot_: Penelope Peterson writes with style, but can we really find it as something good or bad?

_Summary_: This story masters the idea of the supernatural, while adding these frightening realism of theories and family that is torn apart, but leaves us questioning whether or not this may be the one story that understands life. We can relate to it, but can it also deny us?

**~ Jamie Skyland, Author/Critic**


	53. YprocKcid 5 by Bryce Avila (8K Views!)

**Story:**

**_The Cactus _by_ YprocKcid_**

_Star Rating:_ 3 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Bryce here, doing a quick review here. I think I like a story tat makes sense, but what if the idea is taken too seriously? Let's begin: (For Henry)

Their love is as doomed as Romeo and Juliet. There's no easy way around it, and they're on the verge on giving up. But what if there was another way.

I like this story for its romance and idea on doing whatever it takes to be with the on you love.

What I don't like is this major plot hole that could ruin the idea of the couple in the actual series since it destroys their purpose of somewhat forbidden love.

_One-Shot_: This is as good as he will ever get lower, he's gives a masterpiece.

_Summary_: You cant go wrong with love with this guy on both realism in Gumball and the world. This has both heart and depth. It's a loving story that can't be hated.

**~ Bryce Avila, Author, Critic, Screenwriter**

**Congrats for over 8K views!**


	54. YprocKcid 6 by Jamie Skyland

**Story:**

**_The Truth _by_ YprocKcid_**

_Star Rating_: 3 out of 4 stars

_Review_: You want the original _Gumwin_ story? Here it is. An unfinished story that changed and inspired others to create more than just a what if. Let's begin: (For Henry)

Gumball and Darwin soon find out about the kiss that happened in the treehouse, but before that, their words on what they original felt is tested into something more life changing, and in a way, shocks the darkest parts of the soul within inner connection.

What I hated about this story was the fact it hasn't been continued in about 2 years or so, and the ending of it. It almost seemed they just turned into these stereotypes for homosexuals.

I did enjoy the fact that it is both a realm and satisfaction to both a theory and idea of what could happen. Something this years love story between the pair couldn't do. This was originally written by killer123 and was the first of the GumWin genre. But due to negative criticism towards the subject of incest and homosexuality (but I guess if you do it with a mother and a son with some sex scenes its considered normal. I'm talking to you _the love._). The story later showed some good ideal to this backstory on what could happen in this, but since it was never finished, we could never tell.

Improvement would be the grammar and not making gays a stereotype (with the exception of Gumball and the dog as a couple).

_One-Shot_: The first is always the best of its kind, and this sure beats all of them.

_Summary_: YprocKcid writes a true background of the world of Gumball in a way of both truth and in its known humor tone, making the characters as real as they can be in the story. The demand for those who read it is to continue.

**~ Jamie Skyland, Author/Critic**


	55. Bryce Avila 3 (SA!) nby EvelioandZgroup

**_WARNING! SPOILER ALERT OF A NEW STORY NOT YET RELEASED!_**

**_YOU HAVE BEEB WARNED!_**

**Story:**

**_The Running Man_ by _Bryce Avila_**

_Star Rating_: 3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I may have written the first Stephen King adaption, but I haven't written a Stephen King story that was good. Maybe because I haven't had the time for it. But Bryce here made a story that is something else. Let's begin: (For Henry)

Gumball is accused of a crime he didn't commit, but time is something not on his side when he is now on a deadly game show in a dystopian Elmore that is nothing you'll ever forget.

I think what I didn't like about this story is how it was limited and rushed a bit.

The good stuff is that it's both faithful to the book, while having very little resemblance to the bad adaption with the movie, while giving more of a steady idea of suspense and thrills, with more of the sci-fi background with the battleground being used for a surprising twist of feel. Bryce at last gives an ending, while changing some details of the book, with such powerful depth in both Gumball, Mr. Small, Rocky, and even some minor appearance that still go out strong.

Improvement? If time wasn't an option, we would get more detail, but that's just wrong since it destroys the illusion of the game show.

_One-Shot_: Bryce Avila gives her last fan fiction the biggest thrills of sci-fi in Gumball that anyone has ever both felt and experience the thrills of being all just one game.

_Summary_: With The Running Cat, we wouldn't expect this to be good. But, with Bryce Avila, she corrects all the errors and plot-holes of the previous one to possibly the best science fiction story the archive has ever read. A sure knock out with one of the best writers you will ever see.

**~ My name is EvelioandZgroup, I'm signing off**


	56. fantom fiction 3 by EHG

Love Is Paper Thin by Fantom Fiction

Rating: 1.5 out of 4

Review: Hello my friends. It's me, Ebin, here to bring you another story with another story featuring an odd pairing. As I have previously stated, I love creative shipping. There's so much you could do that hasn't been done before, which is creative. Creativity brings a smile to my face. Today, our story, though inventive, may have some problems. Without further ** about, let's begin Love Is Paper Thin (for Henry).

Our story ships Gumball and Teri, all while they have an adventure sitting in the school health office. Yeah, not the ideal setting. It's not the best read, but if you look at it as a one-shot, it's fine. There are some grammar errors, but they aren't really noticeable. All in all, it's decent, just kinda bland.

Summary: The author made it clear that this was just something he was challenged for. For that, I can't judge it as a story, but as a one-shot. That being said, it's okay. Not really memorable or life-changing, just okay.

~Ebin, Fan Fiction Author/Critic


	57. Harry S Truman by Marches45

_**No Way Out **_**by**_** Harry S. Truman**_

_Star Rating_: 0 out of 4

_Review_: Hello. I'm Marches45. Quite a few of you know me, and you've probably read my mostly bad stories, as well as reviews for others' stories. I actually posted review of this story already, but I feel like I overrated it. Here is my revised evaluation, using the four-star system and making a slight reference to _Payback_, one of my bad stories (Chapter 35). Let's begin (For Henry).

We have Gumdrop Watterson (OC) being tormented by three of his (OCs) sisters, Carine, Marissa, and Stormy. His parents, Gumball and Carrie, are of no help, so he has few people to turn to. When the girls' pranks go too far, Gumdrop decides to end his suffering at the cost of his life, ironically after wishing death for his tormentors.

Here is the _ONLY_ thing I liked about this: the fact that it pertained to the Gumball and Carrie fandom.

Now, here's what sucked: just about everything else. The plot was underdeveloped, and rushing it could have been the cause. Maybe the author could have gone into more detail, like what the hell could have possessed Carine, Marissa, and Stormy to do what they did to their brother. The lack of information about this makes for a realistic flaw in the story.

Next, the OCs, some of whom really weren't all that necessary, really didn't show any intention to refresh our minds about who they were, and copying and pasting their info from the TAWOG - Gumball x Carrie Wikia page did little, if anything, to bolster this story. The parents, the_ only_ canon characters to show up, proved to be very bad parents, punishing Gumdrop for something he didn't do, with hardly any background information of the circumstances, another realistic shortcoming.

Now, the main grammar issue I noticed was verb tense inconsistency, but that's not much of a big deal.

Improvement? Plumb the depths. Use detail. Develop the plot.

_One-Sho_t: A story similar to another one in terms of fandom, doing some of the same things that made it fail.

_Summary_: Harry S. Truman has written something that possibly could have worked, but with little to no development, it's just not working. I really didn't feel all that devastated when Gumdrop died. I have high hopes for his _In Memory_, CB, but I fear that they're too high.

**I'm Marches45, author/critic.**


	58. Antr 3

Story:

_**Talking **_**by**_** Antr**_

_Star Rating_: 3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: It's me, Henry. Now, I was trying to find a good story to review, so I looked. None that I wanted to make a review yet, but something occurred to me. Why not this story? You characters, an idea, a plot of what goes on. It's perfect. Plus, it's like a TV Show. Why not review them? Let's begin:

Gumball is our host to deliver stories that have tormented him, both in grammar and plot holes. He also tags along other characters, with real characteristics, and ideas that flow through these characters that may have fans, but maybe should consider what it means on writing.

I don't enjoy the idea of Gumball being a bit more superior in thought. I mean, doesn't that destroy his character arc or something? It doesn't bother me a lot, but can make you think about it. Is this really Gumball? (One thing's for sure, he does have a good idea at what he's doing.)

I did enjoy the fact of all these characters knowing their style, knowing what's going on, and figure out what to do. They also share this ideal realism that they are a show, while having a life in words that show us they have a better connection with the readers than other stories that have tried connecting.

Improvement? Try to update more.

_One-Shot_: _Talking_ is here as the real deal!

_Summary_: Antr gives us the first critic story that features enough characters and allow us to feel their presence and humor to the stories that have either made us think certain ways, but_ Talking_ is a big eye opener. A humor series that speaks both truth and style, the perfect way to connect with readers.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters (9K VIEWS!)**


	59. Cooper McCarthy

Story:

**_The Dead Should Not Be Loved _****by****_ Cooper McCarthy_**

_Star Rating_: 4 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Hey, it's me again, Henry. I'm not suppose to do two since I'm still at the hospital, but this story...it just amazes me that I had to give a review. This story is no story. This, my friend, is suspenseful novel, from what I can predict. Let's begin:

A prologue leaving an undetermined character leaves unfinished, while coming on to the story where Gumball goes to Penny's house and finds he dead. At first, believing it's suicide, wants to get out, but later learns he has fallen into a trap. Someone has murdered her, making it look like a suicide, while in reality it was an attempt to cover a murder to pin point it to the first person who goes in. Gumball was that person, while a man, who was arrested has killed three police officials is now loose.

There is nothing I hate about this. NOTHING! It's like an actual book, with the realm of both original and the use of the world of Gumball.

I like this idea of suspense with creative ways to introduce the readers in a writing stage that is truly the mark of the first real novel since My New Family, (not including the currently most popular story, which I have not yet read) and I wouldn't mind sticking around for this. This author makes his debut on the archive, and is truly going to be an unforgettable one. He foreshadows many things, but is still unpredictable. All you can do is sit there and read on this intelligent mystery thriller that adds elements of both psychological and horror. Two thumbs up, and probably the one I highly recommend for all Gumball readers to read.

Improvement would a stupid thing to say in this story. It's a ride that is already good on its own.

_Summary_: Cooper McCarthy is a hit! He strikes Gumball, and foreshadows an unbelievable happening that is both suspenseful, thrilling, and even adds the elements of making the characters real and mysterious to fear more when your heart reaches a certain limit. This is one hell of a story. This you don't want to miss. He is at the peak of his power, and hopefully gets the reviews and popularity this story deserves, just by its first chapter!

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	60. Jamie Skyland

Story:

_**Hot Rough Sex **_**by**_** Jamie Skyland**_

_Star Rating_: 3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: It's me again, Henry. Now, I'm friends with Jamie Skyland, but I treat her writing like a new story - I never heard of it, nor should I be discouraged to read. But her stories...they're really hard to disprove that I'm giving a good rating because she's a friend. But, when you read this story, I think you will understand what I mean by it. Let's begin:

After Gumball gets an epiphany between the slashes of porn and innocence at a young age, which triggers some of the ideas of life that foreshadow somewhat of a dark, yet funny thrill ride.

I don't like the idea that we are left a couple of interpretations, when she needs to continue.

I did enjoy the sense of humor that was put in when it was suppose to be somewhat of a crime thriller, with drama in it, but uses comedy in this to make it more enjoyable, yet so suspenseful when you realize something is going to happen. And you'll be damned if you miss it.

Improvement? Like any abandoned story, it should be continued (as far as I'm concerned it's abandoned).

_One-Shot_: Jamie Skyland gives a dark comedy on explicit ideas, but foreshadows a whole lot more fun to come, yet hinting some consequences.

_Summary_: Jamie Skyland is a girl, who gives us some funny, yet humorous tones towards men. She is a girl who gets guys, where girls never want to go. Jamie is funny, yet still bends the elements of what it means to have a drama and crime being predicted. You'll stick around for the fun until it's over.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters (Also, hooray for 60 chapters!)**


	61. EvelioandZgroup Top10

_**Hello, it's Henry. I feel I should do this now, since this has been overdue a long time. This is a segment that is the same since it was started. I also have to talk about the stories requested. First off, I will not review **_**the running cat _because...well, let's say it's my reaction to people about _Twilight_, because f**k Twilight. Along with _Family Ties_, I can't do that either. I learned that the author has stated that it is not even 10 or 20% done, and it's about over 100K, not that I have much problems with that, but it takes a whole lot of time, and then the updates. It's a strong thing that maybe it should be saved for _Review Roulette. _It seems too big for me, since I was not around for the beginning...and I'm excluding the fact that it relates to Gumball and Carrie, which I don't have much against it, but sends me the off feeling due to the fact it's popular, and not all popular stories are good. Example? Twilight. Yeah, that. It could be like that, so I'd rather save it for a bigger reviewing project. So, without further a due, it's about time for Top 10, with the original text in play since it was written before the accident._******

* * *

Top 10

* * *

**_Welcome to a new segment here. I would also like to point out that I have been hacked from my last review. I would like to say sorry to those who may have been offended by this. I did write the review, but I had rejected the and is considered a "lost" episode kind of thing. Someone has gotten into my account. I won't delete the review because this actually showed who some people have known me better than this has shown their leaves. Agent BM asked for an explanation, so I actually appreciated that. Others were...not as I was expected. So I'm sorry for those who were offended. But let's start with Top 10 for now. Top 10 worked weekly on Friday. The reason I couldn't do it that day because I got stopped out of my account. Now I have control. Top 10 focuses on an author for the story that works the best. Then we count down the Top 10 best stories from that author. But we also have other ones like Top 5 best genre or even the Top 10 worst. Let's begin:_**

* * *

Author: EvelioandZgroup

Following the return of one of the very few authors that has done a huge impact and is highly respected as one of the greatest of his (or any) generation. Now, following _Tobias/Carrie_, we count down the Top 10 critically acclaimed stories posted on this site. Let's begin, EvelioandZgroup style!

10. Black Cat

A story of raw taste, but a decent act of super-heroism that if it was worked on now, it would be a masterpiece. Gumball now becomes the only hero for Elmore, but backlashes at more than he could possibly imagine in this epic superhero story that became an "instant classic."

9. Why I Love Him

Possibly the shortest story he has written, but has become a strong symbol and beginning for the love of a pairing that had no beginning and has better satisfaction in its rawest hour of love and confusion. Many have known this to be a love story that doesn't need the cliche but is just a beginning.

8. Stalked

A story that is highly ignored, but has the strongest chance to blow your mind with something that a story never did with Gumball. This may be slow, but will hurt more than you think. Penny is being stalked, but now corners who it could be. The story remains strong with a valid ending that will answer clues and questions about a certain story.

7. The First Blood

Reason being about this story isn't a bad thing. Even if it's written badly and isn't one of his most detailed, being his first and all, but is the reason for being here for the impact on readers and bringing some old fashion horror scenes that might be overlooked. This story may need a reboot, but with the original behind its back, it might even be better than ever.

6. A Memoir to the Wild One

This story was revealed to be written all in one day and competed (but lost) at the Columbia College Young Writers Contest. This story focuses on both inner and deeper aspects on characters and overlooking certain issues with twists and a chilling of the mellow shot of rain being a past fire. This story thickens before you, only f you could relate. This story is the reason for Tobias getting more notice than before as a strong character.

5. The Circle

Let's face it—so many love watching people fall in love. But does this story have a tone we are unfamiliar, while this story makes you forget the reason they're hiding while a deeper message is released before your eyes, with a normal setting and surprising aspects on characters. A picture is worth a thousand words, but this deserves more.

4. I Killed Penny Fitzgerald

Many of you would expect this to be his first, but draws back from grammar and some flaws. This story does remain a classic with many horror and suspense fans, which does justice for both Gumball and Nicole as a battle of Nature vs. Nurture ordeal with mystery and twist, with violence and secrets hidden. This is a story that wouldn't make you look away.

3. Maybe this Christmas

Even with grammar error, this remains a tragic, yet still a rising dead man who showcases a world of both happiness and isolation in a realm where we enjoy the little things in life and it doesn't scare us, but feel more compassion for Gumball. He may die from the beginning, but this story makes you know that, but through this story makes you know how it will hurt you when a person you care for dies before you know it. The good times are special.

2. American History X

Collaborating with Jamie Skyland, comes along the first successful time two writers come together and write a story that took a subject that was both ignored and could have never been used in context. This did it, both brought emotion, dramatic roles for Gumball and Darwin, along with giving a memorable ending. This remains as one of the most underrated stories ever, but was nominated for awards.

1. Gumball

Based off his book and a series, but intended to give a side of Seinfeld in it. This story focuses on nothing, while tackling, (and just two episodes before its cancellation) the idea of nothing in high school while making you laugh and believe this is a sitcom, while remains edgy, smart, relatable, funny, and no story could out do this funny thrill ride. This also remains as one of the most underrated.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	62. Bjsprite

Story:

_**Gumball's Big Day **_**by**_** Bjsprite**_

_Star Rating_: 0 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I read Within the Archive, and I thought that his review was a bit harsh. Plus, I checked it out to see if I should review that story. I decided to do it since he kind of said my user name and said I wouldn't like it. We'll leave it that way. Now, I understand what he meant. Let's begin:

This story begins with Gumball and Darwin hating each other after a love letter ideal and a sucker punch. Along with that, ideas fly over with him and a theory about revealing himself to Penny. This goes wrong into a story that goes on and he dies, with no hesitation.

I like nothing from this.

I have said I would give a story a zero star if they were worse than Agent BM. This story makes Agent BM look good, and that's not a good sign. Why? First off, the characters aren't themselves, making them some weird fetish fantasy thing. The _writer_ also decides to give a cheap shot with masturbation about peanuts, which doesn't make you believe this is Gumball. In fact, the person behind this all used a pun of "Super-sized" - what kind of thing is that? Are they trying to rip off the documentary film _Super Size Me_ or do a rip-off of _DragonBallZ_ Super-Sayian thing? - and it's really stupid. Along with that, it uses lubrication, anal, and more. I will say I'm not going to rage about it (Sorry Marches45). Why? I reached a level of disgust which makes me see this as, not a fan fiction, but a hater to the archive. I don't like it, and this doesn't do any good. (I could on about the fake-satire on what it was trying to accomplish and doesn't work, but that's to much.)

This story did do justice on one thing. It was made as a horror story, and it will scare you - no scar you for life. That's all it's good for.

Improvement? This story should have been aborted when thought of. I've read Jamie's story Way's of a Psycho, and it was brutal, but had reason. This? This is just pointless.

_One-Shot_: You will be scarred for this story with one piece of advice from me to tell you about it: Stay away from this story, at all cause.

_Summary_: No summary is needed to explain about it. This story is weird, nowhere near common sense, unusual, and won't need a WTF to say "What can I say about this story?" since it doesn't do any justice.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	63. codyhobgood271

Story:

**_A winter surprise _by_ codyhobgood271_**

_Star Rating_: 2 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Hello, it's Henry. I saw this story and I was at a point to say whatever. But this both surprised me, but disappointed me. Let's begin:

Gumball and his family are having a good first day of winter, but something is coming, whether they want it or not.

I actually found it childish. But, in a good way. The writer gets the idea if the show if having a happy Christmas and lets you understand where they're coming from.

On the other hand, I found this dull, which seems both uninteresting and almost predictable. Alongside some grammar misplacement.

I can't say I hate, but it could have been more interesting.

_One-Shot_: You feel the idea of Gumball and his family, but is almost blogs that just get dull and tiring.

_Summary_: The write gives us a better idea of characters portrayed, but doesn't really have an idea on how this is going to be a story when it just sits there and lies as a bit of a predictable stage of almost every Christmas direct to DVD story.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	64. Funny Stickman Guy (10K VIEWS!)

Story:

**_The Skates _by_ Funny Stickman Guy_**

_Star Rating_: 2 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I have to say I'm bored with all of these stories coming out. I went back and went with a story that was just...simple. Let's begin:

Richard is skating, but meets low love of his life. Things show that sometimes it all comes towards us.

I have to say I didn't enjoy much of the grammar errors, along with its length, which affected most of its rating.

I enjoyed it because it showcased a theory while having an innocent mind, while giving true characteristics in a theme of love. That's why it hurt a lot when it was so short.

_One-Shot_: You may want more, but enjoy a happy time in the past with the beginning of Richard and Nicole's love.

_Summary_: The grammar an length will get you down, but is decent for having good thought of these characters while giving us a romance story that is simple and absorbent.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	65. JacquelineCyrus

Story:

**_Love With a Price - A Gumwin Story _by_ JacquelineCyrus_**

_Star Rating_: 3.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Gumwin couples...yeah, that's too far with pairings. I mean, you got couples like Nicole and Carrie (even Carmen and Teri, two who aren't exactly on his good side) it's...I think this has to establish some boundary on your consequences on what you got. _the love_ doesn't offer that, but just a glimpse of flashbacks of payback, while this story...is something deeper. Let's begin:

Gumball and Darwin come out, not just as a couple, but as a disgrace with to the family, and public life. This isn't your tragic love story, this is a darker scenario that demonstrates evil, yet vicious outcomes of society, while showcasing what they examine on taboo.

I didn't like the fact that they put a little of the obvious by it since it could have been interpret in different ways, along with Nicole restricting dominance , while it does symbolize the idea of her being the inside of a country and their crime from the world.

I did enjoy the idea of this actually, not as a love story, but a cold horror story with it demonstrating consequences on your actions, along with it being the idea to question sex and gender, while not mentioning—but hinting it, if I may—this is a questioning idea of what happens on the inside of when exposed to taboo subjects (incest, in this case), possibly hinting a strong mortality of the uncomforted, but questionable idea of both of their incest or homosexuality at a young age. It goes on and showcases JC as a strong, dark writer. She goes in of psychological dilemma and horrifying outcomes of such an idea that can turn on you.

This story has been abandoned long enough, and should be demanded to be continued.

_One-Shot_: Gumwin meets a darker, yet insidious turn of events of both taboo and such outcomes that can't be described as a horror story.

_Summary_: This story demonstrates taboo and the idea of homosexuality as a bad thing, along with incest, but symbolizes the idea of standing up, or fighting against, society, as people wouldn't except them. We have a darker, yet psychological idea that the story _GumWin_ won't show you, but doesn't leave enough ideas on what can be thought out as.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	66. xXDasXGoochXx

Story:

_**The New Girl **_**by**_** xXDasXGoochXx**_

_Star Rating_: 1 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I don't think I enjoy stories that plot on -already-couples-without-an-explanation that doesn't apply to you, unless you're a fan of the pairing. Let's begin:

We have a new student named Panini Mancini (who is actually from the show Chowder, which boggles the mind of readers if this is supposed to be a crossover section then). Gumball has an instant crush, while this drive Anais mad when she _love_s him.

I think the only thing I did enjoy was the fact that it wasn't like those cheesy (but it is predictable in a way) stories people always make up.

I think the reason this story didn't apply well is that we are given too high and out of nowhere characteristics that seem to apply to some of the characters, while giving this character from another show no idea where she came from or how. Thus bringing to the illusion that this isn't real, but just plain old set up smut for those who just want a cheap sex thrill.

Improvement would have to keep erotics realistic, then the subject of incest (which I'm targeting as a cliche, not taboo).

_One-Sho_t: You want a sex story that contains no sex, no set up, but delivers you some cheap fantasy ideas? (Go for this story then, being a rhetorical question.)

_Summary_: I think the writer here may have come up with some infamous ideas for the archive, but all of them seem to be the casual idea for sex stories (lemons) that just get too tired and boring that you can see everything coming. If you can't, then you could be a consumer, which isn't a good thing.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	67. EvelioandZgroup 8 (SA!)

_**WARNING! SPOILER ALERT!**_

Story:

**_The Stain _****by****_ EvelioandZgroup_**

_Star Rating_: 4 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I'm very sorry for the fact that I didn't review a story yesterday, breaking my 45 day streak of going daily. But, I have to admit, not all the blame can be put on me. I have to look for fan fictions that are worth reading, without reviewing a story that is nowhere near good or should even be read but gets a harsh review by me, since some people don't like constructive criticism. I want people to send recommendations in the review column so I have a better reason to review since people want it. You say a story, and I'll read it to review it. Let's begin:

Based off the horror anthology that was abandoned by Evelio (but I asked to review the fan fiction version since I didn't have a good story to review), Masami is the eye candy of affection. She wants to be seen, but after getting a stain on her pure white dress (he drew it out to show how it was able to be done because of a Cartoon Network show with some purple floating thing that i thought was a guy, turned out to be a girl, which freaked me out) she hides in the bathroom to remove it. But secrets are flown in when she overhears some real opinions on her, but something else is driven behind the walls in the school to make this a dance nobody will ever forget.

Nothing is to be hated, except for the fact that it was all caused by a stain (and months of mental abuse, drugs, and all sorts of stuff).

I like the fact that he was able to make something so little something so mentally disturbing and so deadly in some cases very creepy. He uses Masami as a device t showcase anorexic, drugs, trauma, hallucinations, metaphors, and is really something. It was adapted from his original short story, but is really good, and showcased the characters as symbols of what they are.

Improvement is nowhere needed.

_One-Shot_: He may be the master of horror for the archive when he demonstrates how he can scare/creep you with some of the non-scary things and make you rethink them.

_Summary_: Masami is given a role that is both dark, sin-icle, vicious, deadly, and an ending you don't want to know. He gives a short story that matches with the archive's infamous creepypasta and lives on as possibly the scariest to be released (or so then on).

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**

**Also, there is a guy who is deleting stories on the archive that is not relevant to the fan fiction idea, which I am clearly against, since...you know. I want everyone to join a cause with Evelio, who is trying to do something that can both remove rules that are against the idea and make it more creative and ideal archive with new sections. If you're with us say, in any fan fiction story you please and say this: I WANT TRUE FREEDOM ON FF! or something else if you please. Join this cause.**


	68. carrball

Story:

**_story ideas _****by****_ carrball_**

_Star Rating_: 1 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Lately, I have been seeing stories NOW that are being review things...Now, I don't deprive people of their opinion, but it seems that some people are either doing this because they either got the impression on me that they have a better opinion or they want to get their opinion, or they just want reviews since they're too lazy to actually write a story. So far, only two critic review stories stand tall on this: Antr and I. Why? Antr has been the first to do it by using styles of the Nostalgia Critic (I don't think he's doing it right, but this is fan fiction). For me, I offer true and deep analysis that gives readers a chance to actually read a story and not get absorbed on some bad traits. I give somewhat short, but good ideas of stories that come to place. Now, recently there have been fan fiction users claiming themselves as critic (which I can't say so for, but it's MY opinion on it, don't forget it). Now, we begin with a guy who hates me to death and thinks of me as a jerk and is unworthy of ever writing reviews (by the way, I'm referring to myself as a bad critic since the guy thinks I am.): carrball. Now, I'm reviewing his reviews because I want to see if he has good judgement. Let's begin: (for the guy who thinks I'm just lousy)

Our first review is on the story _Couple intuition_ by fantom fiction (who is the author I'm on alright-terms with, while his fan...isn't the right person you want to represent who likes this guy), giving it a 3 out of 5 stars.

Second review is _The Homecoming_ by UnKnownSalvation, giving the story a 4 out of 5 stars.

Third review is on _Family Ties_ by BlackAcez, giving it 4 out of 5 stars, praising it to be the best Gumball and Carrie story here (which I disagree, highly on critical terms for two reason: (1) I haven't read it. (2) I believe the best story for the couple is by the master of the couple, YprocKcid on both _The Dark Night Of The Soul_ and _The DIY Amusement Park_. Why? Because they're both surreal to the show and the idea of temptation to the couple).

Let's start with what I found somewhat pleasant. I actually found the short and straight to the point. It's kind of like a one minute review that offers what is there and is very simple, still persuading you to check the story out.

What's a sin? THE ENTIRE THING! There's a good rule on how to know a critic is good or bad. One is to NOT HAVE GRAMMAR ERROR IN THE REVIEW, OR TO EVEN MESS UP THE TITLE! That's not a good sign (I admit that sometimes I could sometimes some grammar error because I missed it when I was checking for some errors or just got lazy to check for errors, but I don't leave them in almost EVERY sentence.). I also felt the reviews he gave were rather pointless and just plain dumb. Don't get me wrong, I reviewed The Homecoming, which was decent, but he just gives you the general idea of a first timer who relied all of his knowledge on that one fan fiction and based all his information on that. His reviews aren't even long enough to convince you. He doesn't good intent on the story he reviews. It's almost as if he just read the chapter and has a consumer opinion, being paid on like one of those lousy commercials.

Overall on improvement would to detail and explain more, while not messing on your own grammar and to really understand the story.

_One-Shot_: carrball gives you short and simple reviews, but seem to drive you to rather have a better opinion when you can find many ways to disprove his reviews with both analysis and frickin' grammar.

_Summary_: Honestly, if you think I'm bad I'm fine with that. But, if you think you have a better opinion on stories, you better damn well prove me well. I have lost almost all respect, and even the slightest idea to take this guy serious. Overall, this review section is only for you if you want short and simple reviews, while also have the ability to review better than this guy, even if you didn't try. That's how bad I think this guy reviews. He wants to say something...give me your best shot. I won't be bothered. It's almost like being able to draw a good bird, but then the guy who said it was bad draws like a two year old, then you shouldn't even have the slightest idea of intimidation. He's nowhere the idea of being the real deal, but it's my opinion. Just mine, or yours but haven't got the backbone to say it. Either way, this is MY opinion on this guy.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**

_**On a side note, if you think I'm lazy because I only do reviews, well, I did have a story I was going to write here, but I denied putting it here for a couple of reasons. One that I think it was reasonable was the fact that it had probably like 25% of Gumball's world in it, but the novel is actually just an original work that I had implanted with OCs (along with Evelio as a character), but is a really good story. I got a lot of positive feedback from some users on it (not on this site, though).**_


	69. MiaLaceur (69, get it?)

Story:

**_Storm _by_ MiaLaceur_**

_Star Rating_: 3 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Hello, my name is Henry Peters, I remember so you don't have to (sound familiar, _Antr_?). I was going to do another review on a review story, which was actually Agent BM's. I went against for obvious reasons. (a) His opinion is most likely pointless and really idiotic if he wants revenge on users since that would make him a troll. (b) He is a GODAMN HYPOCRITE! Why? Because he was the VERY REASON critics were meant to be the bad guy. Now he wants to be like one of the big dogs? I see that almost dumb, but I decided to just do a newcomer story. Let's begin:

It's the beginning of a storm in a small verse narration that seems to tempt us for what's to come.

I think I didn't appreciate the fact that some of the separated sentences could have been put together, and it being very short.

I did enjoy the fact that it's very smooth and actually readable, with some good suspense moments here. You can get a good grip on this as the readers are in a presence of an illusion of yourselves, as non-writers (because of lack of detail) in a trap that seems to change so erratically. It's very enjoyable for something small.

Improvement would be both dialogue and detail, while working on the sentences.

_One-Shot_: This newcomer brings readable content that makes you stay at bay with it and enjoy a good amount of suspense.

_Summary_: We have some form of creating imagination and eligible characters to make us feel again. Gumball is clam, but can really tempt you on what he could really be thinking. This author lets us bring some peace at mind in a disaster but let us bring our imagination come alive, once more.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	70. Ender McAuthor (50 Days and 11K Views!)

_**Warning, I'm using this review for a little bit of laughs and dark humor. If offended, then you probably needed to laugh at yourself to maintain the idea of sarcasm. Enjoy, but beware, I'm not much of a comedian.**_

_**Also, this review was written when I was on painkillers. You might get offended.**_

Story:

**_He Didn't _****by****_ Ender McAuthor_**

_Star Rating_: 2 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Hello, it's me again. Now, I want to take this time to address to this anonymous user named "don" that lexboss's story _the love_ was already reviewed. Plus, he should show kind sportsmanship. If not, well, he will be like one of those annoying gremlins eating after midnight. Speaking of lexboss is her OC in a story that seems to do some justice for the character. But how much? Let's begin:

We begin the story on a tad phone from two characters about a dream of her, Lexy, being a world where nobody cared about. (Apparently so many appearances from Agent BM using the character made it look that way in real life. _Way to go! _by my sarcasm.) And later on it shows the down side of her.

I think Lexy is given a more suitable role since...well, she was never given any good roles and was stuck with Agent BM, ultimately killing this OC's chance of ever being good. _Way to go!_ Along with her being in this role, it's somewhat semi-biographical since in real life the author is someone who could think like that. Why? She may apologize every time, only because she doesn't want people to hate her and just like her...don, I'm aware you're not an incest fan, but...yeah, you should probably turn the other cheek. Don't worry, I'll be gentle.

I can actually argue for the fact that if you're going to put yourself as a character, by your user name, I don't think I can hold on to the idea that McAuthor is a last name. (I also don't understand why the author named themselves after a_ Mc_Double. It was also a bit of a mind-f*** that the author was a boy. Not my fault, I saw the poster of_ Ender's Game_ and thought different. Plus, the movie's probably gonna suck since not a lot of sci-fi books make it as well.) We also can't really tolerate the idea of just a hint of a background and very low on how can we actually feel this character. I know the character, but others don't...if they didn't read Agent BM's story, then they were saved by the bell. The idea may be good, but how they detail it and use it seems both rushed and very little of a chance for you to actually care about a character. Along with that, this is no Go Ask Alice, but tempts to try to be it. It doesn't go far since it was most likely abandoned...GOD!...maybe that don guy could help me out...nah! I think he just might be a troll. Not one of those fuzzy haired, weird, too-many-blows-to-the-face troll, but the one that sleeps under my bed with all the other monsters.

I think better detail and character envelopment is needed here...And, oh, not being abandoned.

(Hold on, someone's calling me.)

(Hello?)

(Caller: "Do you care about me? I feel like you don't.)

(No. Bye.)

_One-Shot_: Lexy is in a role she is born to play, but isn't very well kept to her and forces it to almost be a cheap-shot drama that has faith, but is left alone for being abandon.

_Summary_: Ender McAuthor brings you high hopes for an OC that was brutalized in horrific roles (not you, Lindsay Lohan), but suffers on detail and giving a proper orgin of a character that has yet to be redeemed from all the roles containing Agent BM's lack of story telling. What justice does it do here? It's NOT (_Praise the lort, oh jeebus! Hallelujah!_) an Agent BM story that barely gives you the idea of good story telling or writing. Ender gives you a valid first impression, but doesn't built much for climaxes, but rather you have to know already about the character. I see that pointless if this story was already suppose to be about her.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters, you probably didn't laugh, but I'm on painkillers, so that's an exception...I think. **

_**Copyright Disclaimer: I don't have any intentions of owning Lindsay, the film Ender's Game, but rather this falls under fair use of education and...I think entertain...but I don't mean to take these or more under ownership. That is all.**_


	71. Sunblast X

_**CAUTION: THIS REVIEW IS ALOS DONE WHILE ON PAINKILLERS**_

Story:

**_The Ninja _****by****_ Sunblast X_**

_Star Rating_: 1 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I think I should clarify on something here: So don has been the one who leaves hate reviews and makes you feel bad about yourself. And know they want to stop by making him known again. Here's an idea: DON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THIS GUY! Why? Because that's what this mostly likely 39-year-old virgin, hobbit looking ass jerk. Plus, he's not the person you should get mad at. I'm the one you should be mad at. Why? Easy: I'm brutal if a story is bad, I treat the story if it's very crappy, and so on. What separates me and him is the fact that _I_ have reason to say it's bad. don just comes out of nowhere and saw things are bad. Also, what's with the grammar errors in his sentence. He's like Agent BM on that tantrum and fighting all about why critics are bad (and on top of that I thought he was going to leave. But, then again, we all go against critics, turn our bad on the archive, be a hypocrite, make a review story, and it's not even GOOD. Hell, he's more blind than an actual blind guy.). Listen to me, if he says anything bad about your story, _**IGNORE IT!**_ This guys thrives on attention. He wants you to reply so he can feel better about his life. Everything he says about your story isn't true...with the exception of Agent BM, because seriously...he deserves it after what he did and lied to us. Let's begin: (And show you how to say a story's bad. without being don!)

Gumball and his friends are becoming ninjas for each element and must soon have a classic battle between good and evil, while testing their friendship.

Honestly, I barely gave it a 1 star because it was able to stay somewhat true to the character...a bit.

What's not right seems he may have just put in Avatar: The Last Airbender, LEGO: Ninjas (or whatever that show's called), and tried to do some of the natural elements of bullies, while attempting to make every bad serious that seems to drive it to the ground. I see it as not original since he uses the elements (cliché or not) of Earth and uses it for ninjas - which, I'll admit isn't very original, considering the fact you basically did the thing all ninjas (even the stereotype people of them being associated with natural elements) and seems to just doesn't connect. The author lacks the detail and character development to show us how these guys can both matter, excite us, and even make sense in this. You also got this idea that they're going to win anyway. Why? Because it's in ALL ninja stories. You also get this hint that maybe the author is using the elements of both -

(Hold on. I gotta answer this call. Hello?)\

(I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaack?)

(The little girl from Poltergeist? I thought you died?)

(No, it's don!)

(Who?)

(don! The one who tears people's hopes and dreams of ever being a good writer and make them quit before they even start and - Are you snoring?)

(Dude, I'm in the hospital and even I'm not intimidated by you.)

(Oh yeah?)

(Yeah.)

(Well, I can point out why you're bad.)

(Give me your best shot.)

(Okay, you don't review the higher authors and pick on the little ones - )

( - Not true, I've tackled Evelio, Antr, GalaticDragonfly, even some of the old authors that used to be here and identified the errors there.)

(Well, you say the stories that I think are good are bad and the stories I think are bad are good.)

(That's because you're an idiot. I give my opinion on stories based off what I believe to know, stating readers to look it from my point of view.)

(Well...you liked lexboss's story, even though it's about incest.)

(So...? You're a middle age man who can't get laid and even I have a better chance of getting a girl in the hospital, even with the disease. You're worse.)

(What about Evelio?)

(Granted, he does have bad stories, but over time he has emerged to be one of the best and most respected users here on the archive.)

(What about the Lone Dark Knight? I remember his earlier stories were bad.)

(No, you just kept saying there bad - which I will be honest that the early ones were and didn't really deserve the nomination for _Best Story_ or _Best Writer_ - but he's improved better and more stable than you.)

(What about _The First Blood_?)

(Bad story about a bad virgin...seems to do justice.)

(But it made fun of me!)

(No! It focused on a serial environment of both pain and misery that allows our deepest and darkest parts of our soul has consequences for their action, while delivering an ending that is both symbolical and very effective to the point of saying the archive doesn't need you and that you're worth nothing.)

(But...)

(And also, I actually moderate reviews. I allow your reviews to come in because they have no effect on me. Nor should they on any users. That's what you want: Attention. No matter if it's good or bad (mostly bad though) and just be glad people are suffering and making you feel better about yourself...And I just goddamn MADE THE WORLD'S F*****G MOST CLICHE IDEA EVER MADE ON THIS DAMN THING! Damn you, dude, for making me do this whole scenario that makes me look better and you worse. What's a name like don anyway? Sound's like a knock-off of Ronald McDonald.)

(Just...SHUT UP!)

(Goodbye.)

We'll sick this part of buffing it in: it's not realistic and you don't get a good grip on the story.

I want better character development, actual meaning to the character and settings, and add better transitions since they don't need that. They can easily be transferred into a paragraph.

_One-Shot_: Agent BM gives a flavor review, while I say he's blind for not having a good idea on gripping on a ninja story that takes you to places you already been before, and make it look more fake than it is.

_Summary_: You get a ninja that does stay somewhat true to its characters, but fails to prevail on making very real and entertaining, leaving you in a world that doesn't make much sense. You rarely get the idea of these characters actually mattering to you.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	72. NeroSchnider

_**Be optimistic about this. This is yet, again, something for jokes. People are bound to be offended. Do NOT take this literally or hurtful for someone specific.**_

Story:

_**Back in Time **_**by**_** NeroSchnider**_

_Star Rating_: 1.5 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I want to say that don has so far enjoyed my stunt for him. I don't want people to get upset by him, mostly lexboss. She will have to ignore his reviews and just go on with life. But since don has been the object for humor in my recent reviews, I thought it would be most appropriate to continue this ride. Why? If don can keep saying bad things to people when told not to do, then I think it's perfectly natural to keep him here as the object for everybody to laugh. Let's begin:

Lexy soon finds out that Nicole is pregnant (which really makes no sense in the series when they have very little to no sexual tension. I know it's cartoons, but there's always this mood you have to look out for in that.) and tells Richard. The kids come along and she tells them too - sadly, not until Lexy shouts at him to wait until Nicole is done talking since all he cared about was his game-board. We are later revealed that they fell in love after a bulling problem (only to be confused and drop the bomb when he said he was a pacifist. I don't really think anyone knew the world. Heck, I had to look it up and saw that it's someone who is against war and violence. The writer dropped Richard's original brain and gave it someone who is able to identify himself with a world we didn't know, but, so happen, he did.). Soon, Lexy turns her wristwatch and goes back in time to see how they got together.

Let's start with the OH!-SO-Friendly good stuff. You get an understanding about how the two got together and is a bit more of a delightful role Lexy was put into play.

The bad things are so many. They're dropped out of character arc, we don't know how Nicole got pregnant (don't even try using the lemon(s) as an excuse), Lexy seems a bit foolish, the dialogue seems to be missing words and don't know how to use it, we are given the most cliche idea of going back in time that its symbol died out so soon. We don't even know how she got the time traveling watch (if time traveling was so easy why don't you go back and stop JFK from...no...nevermind...it's already been done before.), let alone a good idea of it. I mean -

(Hang on, one second. Hello?)

(I'm baaaaaaaaaaaacckk.)

(Mom?)

(No, it's me.)

(Elaine?)

(No, it's me.)

(George?)

(No, it's frickin' don! I can't believe you don't recognize your voice.)

(Oh, I know you it was your voice. _Not really. _I was only joking. I'm a comedian.)

(Anyway, I don't see any point in you making fun of me.)

(I don't see the point of you keep saying people's stories are bad and all you want is attention, plus you don't even have an account to begin with. You act like a coward and expect for everyone to cry and wet their pants because of your one review.)

(That's right. They should. They're very bad.)

(But, if I may, you just say they they're bad and you expect people to care about it. The archive rules say to take a bad review as a sign of improvement.)

(But you say stories are bad. Why can you do it, instead of me?)

(Easy, I'm not a loser who sits everyday saying stories are on a guest account and act like a little wimp every time they reply and I don't reply back.)

(Is that all?)

(No. As I said before, I give reasons why they're bad and still give the good and bad side of stories - with the exception of a few. You need to just stop already. If you're so good at knowing what's good, then why don't you write a story?)

(Because I'm too good for it!)

(No, it's because you suck, like Agent BM.)

(That guy? Don't even begin with me on that.)

(Oh, hang on, I got another line. Hello?)

(Hi, are you interested in trying our new product?)

(Oh, this is a bad time. Why don't you give me your number so we can talk about it?)

(We're not allowed to do that.)

(Oh, so you don't people calling at you at home.)

(No.)

(Well, now you know how I feel. Sorry about that, what were you saying don?)

(That Agent BM is bad.)

(Oh yeah. Not much you can do about that since it's his right.)

(Yeah, kind of like me.)

(Only you're a jerk while he's a cry baby.)

(Eh, you seen his reviews?)

(Yeah, what about them?)

(Look like a four-year giving his opinion on a crayon.)

(Yeah, look I gotta get work on a review. Come by an offend me later in the reviews, even though I don't really think you matter and should just shut up.)

(Great, see you then.)

(Bye.)

Anyway, it's not really relevant.

I think improvement is needed in remembering about the characters, fixing dialogue, having common sense and logic, and to just have a better idea than to just going back in time to see something that was already told to you. That's why we have an imagination.

_One-Shot_: The author attempts to give you a sci-fi back story, but strongly misfires with both character, plot, and logic.

_Summary_: I think it's necessary to say we don't need a how-Nicole-and-Richard-got-together story, since we already have a good idea on how they did. We didn't need Lexy to act as part of the family, with barely any idea of time travel, and to just not connect the way you're suppose to in these kinds of stories.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	73. TheBestGamer

Story:

**_The Shadow _****by****_ TheBestGamer_**

_Star Rating_: 1 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Hello, everyone. I'm Henry Peters, and I would like to say that I should really consider myself to make some funny jokes on some reviews. I don't think I should, but since don has entered the picture of bad - no, don't worry Agent BM, you're still on the picture - and -

(Hold on, again. Why do I keep bringing my phone to every review? Hello?)

(Dude, what the hell?)

(Who is this?)

(Agent BM!)

(Agent BM? I don't even know how people have my number, let alone the fact that I'm in a hospital.)

(I thought I told you stop saying I'm bad. It's really p***ing me off.)

(Brandon...have we ever stopped using Michael Bay as an excuse for some of the worst ever known?)

(How do you know my name?)

(You posted it on your profile. When Evelio told me I was on your most hated enemies - I was flattered by the fact you considered me a big shot - and saw your name: Brandon Martinez.)

(Look, I want you to stop making me look bad. I'm not that much of a bad writer.)

(Really? If I may quote, your highest reviewed story is..._MGT3K ep 8 season finale_, and is very bad. I mean, you put in a theme song in a story...what kind of moron does that? It's a STORY! Not a VISUAL SHOW! What are we suppose to do with it? Are we suppose to imagine a lame 70's sitcom song? Who does that?)

(Look, I thought it would be cool. And most people liked it.)

(Really? Because I only see FOUR, that's right, FOUR, people reviewing it, and most of it came from lexboss. She's your friend and even the idea of her reviewing every chapter of your story is pointless. I mean - wait, give me a second. Someone else is calling me. Hello?)

(YES! KEEP MAKING FUN OF LEXBOSS! SHE IS SO BAD!)

(Who is this?)

(DON! How do you keep forgeting?)

(The same how people see you on the archive: An old bored joke that should have been aborted.)

(Well, you're making fun of lexboss, so maybe you hate her.)

(I don't hate her. You just make me look like I hate her. Why do you hate her?)

(She writes stories about INCEST! WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT!)

(True, the idea of incest is stupid and very taboo, but so is the idea of not giving people their rights.)

(What?)

(She has the right to speak how she wants. If she wants to write a story about that, it's fine. Why? Because it's not real. So what? They're incest people out there. Even famous people. Even one of our presidents was involved in incest.)

(WHAT!? THAT'S NOT TRUE!)

(Ah, dude, don't scream. You sound like a girl who barely found out she's having a period and doesn't know what it is.)

(That's not TRUE! YOU'RE LYING!)

(Go look it up, FDR, go ahead.)

(I WILL. BYE!)

(Bye. Sorry, dude, that was my mentally challenged friend. What were you talking about?)

(Dude, please, stop making fun of me.)

(I can't do that. I can make of Evelio as well.)

(Oh, really, like what?)

(Well, the Evelio stereotypes.)

(What?)

(Yeah, he has stereotypes in his stereotypes. Not like people stereotypes, but repeatedly used methods he does in his stories. Watch:  
He always has a Gumball, or a very minor character as a good role [Jamie, Teri, Tobias, even stories that don't need Gumball in them. He also has the method of not explaining much of the character in the beginning [mainly because it's a fan fiction, but still]. You see, he can be made fun of too. You just don't know how to. But I'm suggesting to hurt him. I'm saying we all have to laugh at our faults in a while. Me, I'm no different. I praise the stories that stick true to their stories, characters, and stunning analysis in symbols. But, some couples that just don't make it in the show are the ones that get burned to the ground because they don't explain about it. Just like a snap, and we're suppose to believe that?)

(But, I'm not that bad!)

(Dude, you have an ego of a five-year-old. You even said the story you did over again would be an improvement. It's not. You still don't get it. I'm very surprised you are still going.)

(Well, at least I'm not a jerk to people.)

(Dude, you even said you were going to have revenge on stories that you didn't like and that you should have your opinion out there. You even said that you were going to leave and that critics are bad. You did EXACTLY the opposite.)

(Well, maybe you should go!)

(And? What if I did? What kind of idea would that help?)

(The fan fiction writers don't need you! You're a person who just says people's stories are bad and that they suck! You're a terrible person!)

(...Guess what?)

(What?)

(I read your story, _the running cat_...it was stupid. Moreover, you said it was your most popular story...only lexboss reviewed every GODDAMN CHAPTER!)

(No, it's good!)

(EXACTLY, YOU think that's good. YOU shouldn't have your opinion [not that I'm ordering you], but because you think the other way with stories. All of your ideas were based off movies that we loved, until you sh*t all over it. You killed Avatar, Indiana Jones, and every blockbuster you done [except for The Running Man, that was already dead].)

(But...)

(AWAY WITH YOU!)

(This isn't over...I will make a better story you ever tried.)

(You know lexboss is letting me use her OC in a story, right?)

(SHE DID WHAT?)

(Yeah, I'm gonna do a complete 180 on this character. I will make it better and really make it stand out.)

(NO! DON'T KILL IT!)

(You already killed her with all stories you wrote! And you even made yourself as an OC. Nobody does that unless they have a good reason. You made yourself look like a cooperate big-shot and a guy who thinks he can sing a good song, but sings a song only little kids do in a school play. I've seen better writing with a brain-dead baby than you.)

(Well, guess what? I'm going to block you!)

(You already did, but you keep coming back to the reviews and saying stuff. I don't even block you.)

(Why? Because you want reviews?)

(No, because you're not even the time and effort to block. And goodbye. I gotta start this review!)

(But!?-)

(AWAY WITH YOU!)

Now, we go into The Shadow. Let's begin: (Thank you for the longest into, ever...what a waste of time!)

We have Gumball having a strang encounter that could change everything, with that may appear simple, but isn't all it was meant out to be.

I've got to be honest - the title already seems bland. The idea focuses on an idea that may be somewhat boring and doesn't pack much thrills to really get you going or to understand it. Along with that, they're more dialogue than detail.

Honestly, the good about it is it's able to maintain its grammar control pretty well. And this is an old story. If people enjoyed this story, who's to say you may be crazy to check for more? You can go out and see if this guys has a good idea because he can still manage to make his stories readable.

Less talking, more detail for improvment.

_One-Shot_: Easily discouraged by what this story has to offer, but Mathis material is very readable.

_Summary_: This writer has weird writing skills in most cases of usual fan fics, but the storytelling needs work though. But is a very promising writer, just needs a good idea.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	74. Urimizo 3

Story:

**_Life Cut Short _****by****_ Urimizo_**

_Star Rating_: 0.5 out of stars

_Review_: Hello, my name is Henry Peters, and I have turned off my phone to avoid interruptions. As many of you know, don has gotten a good founding to me. He sees me as a comedian, not taking any damage. I've got to say...I like that. I don't mean that I like hurting him, it means I can state facts while he's blind to the idea that it's suppose to be about him. He's the opposite of Agent BM on reviews: You say something bad, he'll take it the other way. For don, just stop. I'm not out to hurt lexboss, I'm not even a person who hates her. I respect her enough as a human being, because she I don't let her stories define who she is. And since it's getting closer to October, I think it's time for some classic horror stories...or so we thought. Let's begin:

Our story begins with Penny, and a couple of her classroom...but NOT GUMBALL!? (_What the hell's going on here?!_) After staying too long because of Tobias OVER-telling a story that is claimed to be true, they're stuck in school. Worse, someone has been killed and may be after them.

I'll start off with what I like: A good_-ish_ role for both Penny, and giving a predictable role for Tobias.

What stinks about this is that it degrades the cliche about a killer getting them when trapped in school. I mean, surely there's room to escape, along with the fact that no one can check all possible exits in such short matters of time. Even the ending is dumb. Why? First (SPOILER ALERT!), the author lets Alan live, giving off a bit of an idea on how he's suppose to get out. Surely, he die. He can't even open doors, let alone be taken seriously as a character. Also, the idea of a plot twist is actually NOT one since we all could have seen it coming. More or less, the death of the bodies don't really seem to be truly explainable, or the matter of fact that Teri could jump off and not get hurt. Sure, Gumball can ride off a bridge and survive, but a paper bear can float so gently can die. Also, what was the point of the body in the girls' bathroom? Is that guy perverted or something.

Improvement? Well, this is already finished, and the story is as good as it gets, so I suggest nothing but a better story next time, which he did though (_Love makes Fools of us_).

_One-Shot_: Urimizo may have been the king of horror for Gumball back then, but when you come to think about, it was all overrated and cliched.

Summary:We are given a modest hit for a Halloween story, but is soo filled with underrated characters now being overrated in this story. The scares are all too predictable and the plot is so melodramatic I think Teri was just bluffing to kill herself because she couldn't believe she was in this -

(Goodbye, Penny!)

(NO! TERI NO!)

(Bitch, I'm in a story that makes logic look real in a horror film. Do the same thing.)

Besides, the story is a modest idea, but I don't think this performance for Penny or Tobias should have won.

**~ I'm Fan fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**

Now that's taken care of, I'll check my phone.

What the?

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I could go for some food...

...fuck it.

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(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid.)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid.)(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid.)(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid.)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid.)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid.)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid.)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid)

(All bad stories and no writing makes Agent BM look stupid.)


	75. Ender McAuthor 2

Story:

**_War and Rebellion _by_ Ender McAuthor_**

_Star Rating_: 0 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I like to say that most of the authors here are really disappointing me. Why? They fucked up. I'm not even bothering censoring the word. Why? Nobody wants to read a story that doesn't believe in itself while giving a raw wrong idea on what people are suppose to do this. Let's begin:

Lexy predicted a war that has emerged and got authors consulting gods for it.

What's good about it? Only good grammar (or decent grammar).

Now, what's wrong with it? EVERYTHING! I'm not mad that its about a rebellion about minor authors against critics. The point of this makes minor authors and OC look pathetic and even have the weird way of making don (THAT DON) look GOOD! They make him a GOOD GUY! They made him originally the bad guy, but all we have is a bunch of things being on their period (sorry, still using humor in this thing. I have to do this till for a week.) and consult a high ground, reaching high scale fantasy, but degrades it as a school house play. This isn't a story to begin with. I mean, this just seems childish. Hell, Im with don if he's against it. That's what this story will do to you - GO ON DON'S SIDE!

This seeks no improvement for this story because this isn't even a story to begin.

_One-Shot_: No story, but very childish actions to revolve around high order and makes it all look like a bad show.

_Summary_: An embarrassing moment for this archive as it sinks lower as the critic frenzy to a low blow of an angry mob that makes a fool of themselves, and a fool to the archive. Lexy may be the only good thing in this. In this case, its very bad for being presented as semi-biographical role that makes it lower than below the barrel. It's not even under the barrel. It doesn't even deserve to be in the same sentence as the barrels.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	76. ExtremeBrony

Story:

**_The New Baby _by_ ExtremeBrony26_**

_Star Rating_: 0 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Remember Knocked Up? That dramedy about a stoner and a career girl must deal with the ups and downs of pregnancy and life on how it revolves on the situation. My opinion, 2007 was one of the best years for film. Why? You can pick your Top 10 from that year, and have another Top 10 in that same year. Hell, you can pick your Top 10 of the decade with that year. But, we're promised here of the best fan fiction here. Honestly, my top pick for the best story of the year goes to a three-way tie to _American History X _by EvelioandZgroup and Jamie Skyland, _Gumball_ by EvelioandZgroup, and (believe it or not) _The Dead Should Not Be Loved_ by Cooper McCarthy. I actually think Cooper's story may be the best story of the archive of all time. This gives good expectations, and good thrills with smart mystery. I want to see more of this. But, this _guy_ says his story is better than these _three stories_. This is coming from someone who is a brony. Not that's it a bad thing (even though I don't like the show since it still suffers from mass stereotype of female morals with very small ideas to understand the male audience.) but that's not someone should represent the best story of the GUMBALL archive, not MLP! Let's begin:

Nicole's pregnant. But before we emerge that, Gumball and Darwin shaved a dog naked (I hope Stephen wasn't there to see that) and go out naked to a carnival (I don't know if this is from 50 shades of gray, but this isn't even dirty). And guess what!? THE BABY'S COMING IN LESS THAN A COUPLE OF WEEKS!

What the fuck?! The only good thing here is the decent grammar control.

The idea of it being said to be the best with dirty humor and a good story-line is ranked down, immediately when it starts. The writer has no idea what he's doing. This is nowhere near funny. I mean, Gumball getting naked and shaving a dog isn't funny—especially when you use it with Darwin to get naked as well and go to a carnival. And, Nicole is going to have the baby in a FUCKING WEEK! What the fuck!? Hell, where the hell did a dog became a character (no, Stephen isn't Gumball sex slave. Besides, Gumball's the catcher, not the pitcher there. But WHAT THE FUCK!

(DON! WHY!?)

(What?)

(WHY AREN'T YOU MAKING FUN OF THIS GUY OR EVEN CONSIDERING SAY THIS IS BAD! THIS IS STUPID! THIS DOESN'T EVEN HAVE LOGIC! WHY!?)

(Look, I'll level with you - it doesn't have incest.)

(...)

(Hello?)

(What the fuck!? NO! THIS STORY IS BAD! THIS STORY IS NOT EVEN GOOD! WHAT! HOW DO YOU NOT FIND THIS BAD!)

(Why not? People have babies.)

(Yeah...NOT IN A FUCKING WEEK! And don't bring that bullshit logic of it being a cat. CATS STILL CAN'T BREED IN A WEEK! WHAT!)

* * *

I'm Evelio. I'm sorry to say that because of reason of insanity, he has been sent to sleep. In order to cope with the meassures, I have to continue this review. I'm serious. He got mad. They drugged him to stop.

Let's go on:

...

...

...what?

...no.

...No.

I have just heard that this story is hyped up to be a good story, but doesn't make sense. I have to say, maybe I should just let Henry finish the review. I think the idea of logic really hit him. Sorry.

* * *

Hello, I'm Henry. I want to just sum up why it's bad and why you should get out with all of your life.

The logic in the story is bad, the writer tries too hard to make it look like Gumball and Darwin would do this, but doesn't work when it just seems like a blown fuse, the plot makes no sense, it's over and used, it's high on expectations and is worse on the downfall of disappointment since the Stephen King miniseries.

Improvement? Logic...Fucking logic...And add periods...…And use them right.

_One-Shot_: This is supposed to be aborted.

_Summary_: As much as Agent BM keeps fucking up on ALL his stories, this one gets me down hard. From the guy that came from doing simple stories that seem to get out of proportion, he isn't bad, but this story REALLY is a gamble. He even said this would be the best and builds you up for much disappointment. I mean, Ender's speech on critics seem like Andy Dick trying to get laid, while this one rapes all beloved characters and takes a massive crap on it.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**

**Really you guys, please, MAKE SOME DECENT STORIES! WHY!? WHY MUST ALL OF YOU RUIN THESE CHARACTERS? I'm this CLOSE...This close...to just showing my rage onscreen on YouTube and be a critic on YouTube (even me rephrasing this seems pointless). Why? Why did all of the good authors leave? Did they knew this would happen? I bet they did.**


	77. DarkMistress101

**This is October 28's Review**

Story:

_**The Necklace **_**by **_**DarkMistress101**_

_Star Rating_: 1 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Hello, my name is Henry Peters. It seems that we have all restored with writer's block of making a fan fiction that seems pointless. Let's begin:

Richard forgets their wedding anniversary and actually had a necklace for her. Now, the kids and Richard must go retrieve the necklace back before mayhem occurs (no pun intended).

I appreciate the gesture for being a fan fiction that is believable as an episode, but...it's not.

The story is flat out boring, the arc means nothing we really can't understand their development (let alone ANY development), and it's wrongful idea to be this story.

Improvement? Just be original...not recycling.

_One-Shot_: Want an out of nowhere story that really goes nowhere? (Do you really want the answer?)

_Summary_: The NEcklace is the definition of ow the archive has lacked ideas and tries to prevail with certain story elements to make it original, but falls flat as mass market trash.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	78. Mia BeLaceur 2

**This is October's 29 Review**

Story:

**_Heart of Emerald _by_ Mia BeLaceur_**

_Star Rating_: 1 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Hello, my name is Henry Peters. We reach to a somwhat rip off of Sonic the Hedgehog (really? Heart of Emerald?). Let's begin:

We start off in a party (a pun, if I may to the name of the first chapter) with Grace (OC), but beins in the detail of the land of Kalahra...

I like the jesture of adding original elements of fanatsy, but plays out...stupid.

The idea is over the top, the characters are pointless, Grace might be on her period to be this personality, Gumball is...Gumball, but struggles with handling the care and modesty of her own world.

Improvement is an explanation and detail with some good development.

_One-Shot_: Starts off as an interesting fantasy piece, but ends up blowing fecal matter.

_Summary_: This story acts on its own, but can never really act on its own if it attempts to still be aware of the beings and suffers from poor development and dialogue while varies in actual creativity.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	79. dfitz8248

**October 30 Review**

Story:

**_Insanity _by_ dfitz8248_**

_Star Rating_: 2 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Uh, hello, my name is Henry Peters. Once again, we are here with a story about one simple event and isn't really done well. Let's begin:

Gumball is supposedly tormented by someone and is soon to be committed suicide.

The idea seems to match the title, but it's really boring.

We have a story that attempts to be psychological, but fails in almost every way. We get Gumball in a role that seems like a last minute death scene and doesn't really give you more of an answer to the word "insanity." It really doesn't.

Improvement is to really understand your story. If the character can't express emotion, why should we care?

_One-Shot_: Insanity wants to break the barrier of within the mind, but falls down before it even tries and just seems to be as terrfying as a glass of water.

_Summary_: We get a small piece of work that attempts to really understand what it is to understand when someone loses it. It just loses itself with this story that just seems to be both tacky, cliched, and really boring.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	80. NeoNimbus 2

**October 31 Review**

Story:

**_The Haunting_ by _NeoNimbus_**

_Star Rating_: 1 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I'm Henry Peters, the guy who you know and hate. I'm expressing that I was expectating a good story, but was wrong. Let's begin:

We witness the world of how the rumors can easily turn into vicious weapons and mystery when it all comes down Brian to understand and solve it, before it goes too far...really?

I enjoy the effort and time for the story, with it being relatable to the story arc and universe with _The Newcomer_, but...what happened?

I mean, there are very little laughs for me to express, while others just seem to be funny, but aren't. The idea seems to have been played with God and Kubrick, but messed up.

Improvement is very little, but VERY big in this department: laughs, plot, detail, and actually grammar (as little since I actually saw minor errors, but it's not noticeable).

_One-Shot_: NeoNimbus is a real writer with some talent, but this is his BIGGEST blunder.

_Summary_: We can have high expectations from this author, but...you really show stay low on this. This story is barely impacted with very little elements of jokes and supernatural. He really should have turned this into a dark comedy, but really is weak on this.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	81. SsGokux20

November 1 Review

Story:

_**The Hero **_**by**_** SsGokux20**_

_Star Rating_: 0 out of 4 stars

_Review_: I'm really dying by these stories. Well, I'm Henry with HIV and here's a story that really goes nowhere. Let's begin:

Gumball has a helemt that has unlimited power, problem? Yes. He CAN'T USE it.

Why would you make a story that makes Gumball have this most powerful thing in the world, but can't use it? It's understandable if it's a symbol of how we all have power but can't have the force to use it. But this? I really have to say that this story is really undetermined on what it's trying to accomplish.

Improvement? Make a story that makes sense.

_One-Shot_: The Hero is as useless as the helmet: does nothing.

_Summary_: Black Cat was the only superhero for Gumball to have matched, but this story really doesn't understand what it's capable of until stomped.

**~ I'm Fan Fiction Critic/Reviewer Henry Peters**


	82. Agent BM 5

Story:

_**The running cat **_**by**_** Agent BM**_

_Star Rating_: 0 out of 4 stars

_Review_: Hello, my name is Henry Peters. I have just passed 13 thousand views and—what the fuck am I doing? Seriously. What the FUCK am I doing? I'll tell you what I'm doing. I'm reviewing a terrible story that can be summed up like this: It's bad, the writer's bad, THE END.

Okay, I'm sorry. I wouldn't do that to you guys, but...is this life? Is this what I'm going to be dealing with? Reviewing bad stories on this God forsaken archive? What happened? Where did we go wrong? Huh? I mean, we were one of the few archives to have really rise up from the low run to really high expectations with these characters. I mean, really—what the fuck happened. I was gone from this archive because I was just released from the hospital. But, when I came back, I stumbled upon a story that was about the critics and the writers...

Is this what we're reduced to? Making stories because of what happened in the archive? What the hell? I'm not mad at the idea of the story. I am mad for writers on the archive to have made a story NOT an actual story. I mean, yeah, I did make this. Even if this isn't a story, but I'm not running out of ideas of what I can do. Really? We all have become the lowest archive I have seen. We make the dead archive better than us.

I talked with the rest (Evelio, Bryce, Jamie, Cooper, and Penelope [I talked to them because they were the only writers I saw that really understood the idea of creativity]) and said that after the release of _Remembering Infinite Sorrow_, we should just leave and not come back. We can't get sucked into this.

What happened? We all agreed. After Christmas, they'll stop making stories on this archive. That means: No more updating, no more stories, or request. Evelio did say he wanted to do the story _Hate-Abuse-Recovery_ and an unnamed story before we all are done with this.

What happens the reviews? I'll read the story and just give it little time on reviews, along with others reviewing along. That means I will just have other critics review here.

Bye. I just can't take this anymore.


	83. lexboss 2

**Note: this is a request letter to have send to me to state about lexboss status on the story. The user will remain unknown. Henry has accepted this to be as a review. **

Story:

News by lexboss

Rating: Serious?

Review: ...I'm sorry but what? Lexboss what? I'm sorry but what? You just literally said you wer hurt and have said to be better? This isn't fucking Facebook where shit can go down. Henry, please, hear me out: Why the hell is this happening? Why can't I just fucking read a fucking story instead of some bitch moan and cry? And why the fuck does this 200 word shit got almost 300 reviews!? What? And if she is waiting on Evelio, just post the damn story. With or without him, she will still get a shitload f reviews. Fuck, man! Fuck lexboss, fuck Agent BM, fuck Marches45, fuck Storyteller, fuck evrone! Everyone needs to just post up a damn story and quit posting up this cunt's posts.

Mum, fuck off.

MWht can't we get a story?!


	84. Chapter 84

Gumball was in the school, drinking some water from the water fountain. As he drank some water, which slowly dripped through his fur and made his light blue fur turn darker, he dries up, but looks at the fountain and sees that it is still running.

Amazed by that, thinking it might have been stuck, considering it was old. He went back and push the button again. He looked over and saw it was still running. He started to push the button repeatedly and saw that the water was soon overflowing. The water was coming out so fast that he moved back quite frantically.

From behind, "Hey, Gumball."

Gumball screamed and jumped, just to see his step-brother Darwin, a goldfish with green shoes.

"Darwin," the blue feline said, alarmed to see him. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, rehearsing for the play, Gumball? The play that we joined so you could show off your talents and impress Penny? Remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." Gumball had almost forgot he got water after rehearsing a couple of lines and his throat was starting to get dry. "I got up to get some water."

Darwin seemed confused. "Where are you going to get water?"

Gumball seemed a little annoyed, even if Darwin was naive. "From the water fou - " When he turned, the water fountain (or so he claimed) was gone. He saw nothing but a brick wall.

"Where's the water fou, Gumball?" Gumball turned towards him and asked him if he remembered if there was a water fountain in the school. Darwin told him that there were no water fountains in the school. In fact, he doesn't _know_ what they are.

Darwin told Gumball that he just might be getting a bit nervous that he might be getting delusional, considering the aftermath of that big appetite with Carrie.

They regrouped with his other friends, who were present in the small drama room. Miss Simian was "supervising" them by reading a magazine on Women's Diet and saw some easy to remember tips that she could remember.

Gumball was at the table with Darwin, Penny, Tobias, Carrie, and Jamie. They were all discussing about creating some good scenes since Miss Simian told them to improvise the play since she was too lazy to write a play, let alone just get a playwright and get a simple play.

How long did he knew that water fountains didn't exist? They seemed so real to him. He looked at the mirrors that had been on the wall for actors and actresses to see how they look in certain costumes. He saw that they seemed to be bumping. It almost looked like there was an earthquake coming. It started to get harder and harder. He seemed concerned, until Darwin intruded and asked him for what should the play follow on. "Well, maybe it should a follow on a tragic love story that makes the auidence appericate life and love and how it could end so soon, therefore we should cherish every moment."

"I like that. It really fits Henry Peters."

Gumball was confused. "What did you say?"

"I said it really fits Henry, your character. It even gives Peter the chance for some real good tension, played by Tobias."

"I guess that's good," Gumball reassured. "Good thing we have our leading lady."

Darwin drifted more of his attention to him. "We do?"

"Yeah, Penny."

"Who's Penny? Is she your friend?"

"And yours." He saw that Darwin didn't get it. "Dude, Penny's right - " and the seat that occupied Penny Fitzgerald was no more. No peanut, no chair. Just an empty gap was there.

"Is Penny the floor?" Tobias asked. "That's going to be funny if your try to French the floor."

The rest of them started laughing, while Gumball was starting to get a little scared. He turned to them, "Has there ever been an antler-peanut by the name Penny Fitzgerald, with a dad that owns a construction company?"

"No dude,"Darwin said. Everyone else turned to Gumball, who they grew very much concern towards him.

They took Gumball down to the nurse and called his parents to pick him up soon. He was there in the lunch room with them, waiting to get picked up.

"So," Gumball began, "there has never been a girl named Penny? It's possible that I might have made a person out of my mind?"

"Yeah," Darwin replied, "since there's no such thing as an _antler_-peanut. That's just crazy."

Carrie came over to Gumball, with a cup of water. He took it, thanked her as she floated away. "So, there's no Penny?"

"Yeah, just you, me, Tobias, and Jamie."

Gumball added, "And Carrie."

Darwin seemed confused. "Who's Carrie?"

Gumball slammed his fists to the table, "Carrie! The ghost who gave me this cup of water!"

Gumball turned to prove she existed, but she was gone, along with the cup in his paw.

"Gumball, ghosts don't exist. What's happening to you?"

Gumball took the four of them to the library room to check for records of Penny Fitzgerald and Carrie Booregard. Nothing was a match.

"Well," Tobias said, grabbing Jamie's shoulder, "I think my girlfriend and I should be going."

"Girlfriend?" Gumbalstasis frantically. "That doesn't make sense."

"Why not? We're both troublemakers who have little to no personality that can really work with one another."

"No! You're not together! Darwin would agree on me with that."

"Who's Darwin?" Jamie asked, "Your imaginary friend?"

Gumball turned to the empty chair that he saw Darwin was sitting on. Now, he's no more.

Gumball jumped from the chair, scared by what was happening at this moment. Everyone was disappearing from his life. Tobias took some concern. "Dude, you've been acting crazy since the beginning. What's wrong?"

Gumball closed his eyes and almost started to cry. "Just leave me and go with your girlfriend!"

"What girlfriend?" Tobias asked. Gumball turned and saw that Jamie was gone too. Gumball fell to the floor, almost dying from a heart attack. Everything he knew was starting to turn from lies to delusional.

Tobias grabbed him and told him to snap out of it. Gumball was breathing very fast, but was calming down. Eventually, Tobias told him he was going to wait for his parents to get things straighten out.

"Doesn't matter, you'll be gone like the rest of them."

"Hey, let me tell you something."

"What?" Gumball asked. He waited for a while. Nothing. He turned to see that not only was Tobias gone, but he wasn't even in the library anymore. He ran out of the hallway, which seemed to turn into an endless tunnel. He took a right and made it to the drama room. There he saw Miss Simian facing the mirror. Gumball walked over to see her, but when he tapped her shoulder, she turned over to him show reveal her face was melting, saying it was all good. A big explosion occurred, almost like a Big Bang of light. When he look up, he saw


	85. Chapter 85

Henry looked at the computer screen. He stopped typing, just looking at that sentence that was left unfinished:

"When he looked up, he saw"

That sentence stopped him — shouldn't have done that. He doesn't get writer's block unless he really doesn't know what to do. This here, is one of the few that did stop him. He had no idea on how finish this. He laid back, thinking about what should be done.

His cell phone rang, causing a distraction in his concentration. He looked at it and saw that it was Evelio calling.

He answered: "Hello."

"Hey, Henry, how's it going?"

"Good, I guess. How's it going for you?"

"Can't complain. So what are you doing?"

"Just...uh, writing a fan fiction."

That alarmed him. "Fan fiction? Didn't we used to do that?"

"Yeah."

"Dude, that was five years ago. Let it go. What about your book?"

"That's the think: I couldn't continue it. Nothing worked for me."

"Then why start on this then?"

"I guess it would help draw out some ideas."

"Dude, we gave this up so we wouldn't have to deal with this stuff anymore. Remember? You letting everyone hate? That was your plan to get out."

"Yeah. but —"

"No buts. We all made a choice, and we have to stick to it."

"But don't you get the feeling that we ended this too early? Like there was more we could have done with it?"

"Sometimes, but that doesn't occur often. Just try reviewing a movie or something."

"Alright then. Talk to you soon."

"Alright, talk to you later."

The call ended.

Henry placed the cell phone on his desk where his computer rested his words:

"When he looked up, he saw"

A knock occurred at the door.

Henry got up and walked towards the door. He looked around. He saw no one there, but a package standing door. He picked it up, saw his name: "Henry Peters" and walked back inside. He looked at the package and opened it. He assumed it was the movie and the delivery guy just left, which was odd enough for him. When he opened it, there was a big pile of paper. He saw the title of it: TAWOG: Family Ties. **  
**

He stared blank at it.

Henry called the company that delivered the package and asked what the hell was this. He also wanted to file a compliant at what they were giving to him. They revealed that no one had sent a package to him, and his original package isn't due till tomorrow.

He ended the phone call, thinking someone left the package there by going through his recycling bin and take a box of his out and re-fix it for a joke. Not a clever one, but what else could it be?

Henry went back to his swivel chair and back at the computer:

"When he looked up, he saw"

What to do? He didn't have a clue.

The book that was delivered to him gave him an idea. He decided to read the story.

He went over to the living room to read it, saying, "I know I'm going to regret this."

* * *

After finishing the entire story in one day, he was left with an expression. His face looked like someone introduced a new horrifying monster on him.

"What the hell?!" he said, getting up, walking around in a circle, thinking about what he was reading. He remembered all of it. He just couldn't believe it. "I can't believe that actually existed."

He went on a rant, yelling at the pile of paper: "So this is all just a story about a couple that works in mysterious ways with their children, who they really show no help at being a parent? NO! And first of all, before you make a...shitload of kids, there has to be a way of reproducing...so you need a penis...and a damn vagina! Along with that, the background of this story seems like it is adding elements that results in it being more and more pointless drama! WHY!?"

He took a second to catch his breath. "You got balls, Marmalade. Or ghost balls. Or whatever...oh, wow. That was something." He smiled, almost laughing. He looked at the fan fiction, remembering all the good times. He just laughed at what was funny about his past.

He looked over the kitchen. He thought he heard something. It was nothing.

He decided to go to his computer; instead of working on the story, he went over to the computer and decided to search up on fan fiction. He searched up the title: "The Amazing World of Gumball: Fan Fiction Reviews." He looked at the past reviews. He remembered what he was doing with those reviews. He saw how he analyzed the work on each, treating them as if they were novel, because he knew how much he respected the idea of fan fiction. He knew the power of fan fiction. The more people that like the work, the more they will get interested in the characters from the show, eventually watching the show. Viewers are what kept the show alive for 5 seasons, until cancellation. He felt he made it fall.

"So what are you going to do about?"

Henry didn't speak. He looked back at the door, no one. He turned back at the screen, and what he saw was shocking. It was him: The younger version from 2013, not 2018.

"No," Henry said, talking to his own reflection, he thought.

"Yes. So what are you going to do about it then? Huh?"

"Nothing. I'm not doing anything about the archive. I'm not there, I'm here. This is all a part of my delusional mind that remains considered."

"But who's to say that this is all about you?"

"Then why are you talking to me?"

"I could ask you the same thing, _Critic_. Besides, I'm the character alive, aren't I?"

"No, just a pointless username account that had a good run in between shots and weeks, but now it's time to put the past behind us."

Just as he was about to turn off the monitor screen, he said, "Just like how you took the _easy_ way out with lexboss?" He was at a halt. "You thought it was time to go and done with these childish reviews and wanted to become more serious, but knew that if you left people would either ask you to come back or perish you. An example? Remember Agent BM? That's the one that started you from the beginning, and now it continues to be a lousy excuse for a fight when he can't even spell a word right.

"Can you say the same about lexboss? No, because you knew her too well and didn't want her to be made fun and you continued to support her for so long that you decided to hit it where it hurt: the truth; the truth about her writing, her stories, her characters, that_ anonymous_ user. You didn't hit her becuiase of her popularity, you used the opportunity to hit her so others could hate you, want you to leave and curse you out.

"But, for 5 years, till this day, you now know that this has all just been a joke to you and you couldn't take the pressure of just being this guy who people pointed fingers at for advice, help, a bad example, a target for trolls. Where was that passion of yours? As if you can't put it together that you got so frustrated at it, you forget about how much you enjoyed it and had fun with it. You knew what it felt to dish out the idea of what was wrong. Not like a grammar nazi, but someone who saw this type of work as a serious business and couldn't take the sight of how so many people made you want to spit on the idea of writing a fan fiction.

"Soon you would fall victim of peer pressure, on how you didn't know any better and didn't know what you were talking about. Those people who mocked - and I could go and name every single person who had something against you: Agent BM, Storyteller, cody, carrball, zombiefear, and even yourself. Maybe...maybe you didn't need to quit this thing and hit at the heart. Maybe you just needed to know that some people are just idiots and can't think for themselves. Maybe they were like animals: non-intelligent of the mind to thought, just react to emotion and basic instinct.

"They were underdeveloped. They were just newbies that had no idea of these things worked. In a way, this is how the government works, but spirals themselves into so much controversy that you can't even trust your neighbors, your family, even yourself."

Henry was shocked at what he was saying. He was telling the truth, but came into a conclusion that he was just delusional. No matter what, he had to be delusional.

"I'm ending this," he said, canceling the tab, before he yelled at him: "_You can't escape it!_"


End file.
